As I type this, we are on Day 5 of a three week road trip with six of our kids. At this moment, we are driving from Portland, Oregon to San Francisco, California and I am writing in the passenger seat on my laptop.
My husband and I are both introverts. Four of the kids on the trip are also introverts but two are extreme extroverts. We have found being confined to small spaces with many other people combined with our introvert tendencies to be one of the biggest challenges of the trip so far.
Those who have met me may find it surprising that I am an introvert as I do like meeting people and I will often host huge gatherings at our house with 30 or more people, but the way to determine whether someone is an introvert or an extrovert is to discover how they recharge.
I need time alone in order to recharge. After those large gatherings, I need a day or two of very little talking or interacting with other humans!
Since both my husband and I need time alone to recharge, we found the first few days of this trip exhausting. When we were in the vehicle, the kids were talking to us and we were talking to each other and on the first two days, we stopped to visit with relatives along the way. And of course, our accommodations had us all squished into tight quarters, making it very difficult for us to get our own space.
I found that we were both becoming grouchy and so were some of the kids. I also could see that it was wearing on us in terms of our energy levels, so we came up with a plan to ensure that we each got our recharge time. Here are some tips for traveling as an introvert:
Prepare yourself.
Leading up to the trip, be sure to take some extra time to yourself and store up your reserves. Preparing yourself by knowing how many hours you will be in the vehicle or the room or camper will also help you to gear yourself up for what is ahead.
Be honest.
Keep communication open and tell your partner or family when you need some space. If you retreat without communicating, this can lead to hurt feelings. Speaking openly about your needs will also help your kids see what to do when they need space.
Be aware of your introvert kids’ needs.
For our introvert kids, the small space in the hotel room got to be too much at times especially after a long day out exploring the city and meeting new people. When I could see them snapping at others or seeming grouchy, I tried to think of ways for them to get some time away. I suggested that our daughter go take a shower one evening and it turned into a very long shower, but I knew that she needed that quiet time by herself.
The quiet game.
The quiet game is an introvert parent’s dream tool! Create a contest for whoever can stay quiet the longest in the vehicle. This gives everyone in the vehicle the gift of silence and allows them to recharge. Headphones are another good way of getting to escape into your own little world while in the vehicle.
Tag team.
If there are two adults along on the road trip, take turns doing things so that you give each other the opportunity for your own time to recharge. We took turns tucking the kids in. This allowed the other parent to have about half an hour of time to themselves.
Bathroom breaks.
The bathroom can become your new favourite place! In a hotel room, the bathroom is about the only place you can get some privacy. I may have sometimes taken longer in there than I needed to!
Talking can be overrated.
It’s rare for my husband and I to get time to talk. Life is so busy at home that it’s tempting for me when I have his attention (stuck in a vehicle with me for hours on end!) to talk his ear off, but he is even more of an introvert than I am and I know he would be exhausted if I did that so I was intentional about our conversations. We talked for a bit each travel day, but also had times of listening to podcasts, music or just sitting in silence.
At home, my downtime often is watching TV or reading after the kids are in bed, but because we were sharing a room with the kids and couldn’t have the lights or TV on when they were trying to sleep, I couldn’t have the same kind of downtime so I played games on my phone or read articles on my phone to be able to have time to unwind. It wasn’t difficult for us to be quiet while we were waiting for the kids to fall asleep because we were both needing that silence!
Are you an introvert? Do you find road trips a challenge because of it? What tips have you found that help?
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