The Chaos and the Clutter

Sharla Kostelyk

Hello 2012!!!

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Happy New Year!  I love fresh starts and the first day of every new year is no exception.  It always feels so full of possibilities.  I like to take time to go over different areas of my life and decide what’s working, what’s not, what I’d like to change, what I’d like to accomplish, and then figure out how to implement that.  I have long stopped calling it “new year’s resolutions”.  I prefer to think of it as “goals”.  Resolutions tend to get broken or abandoned, but goals are something to strive for, a measuring stick, a plan.

I usually write down my goals for the year and then break those goals down into lists of what things I would need to do in order to achieve those goals.  I make my goals very concrete, measurable, and attainable and my lists extremely specific.  This usually results in success.

This year, I have been unable to write out any goals or lists.  I am stuck.  I cannot decide what I want to do because I am at a bit of a crossroads in my life and I really do not know which road to go down.  I know what I want to do, but I cannot for the life of me determine a way to do it.  If I could clone myself or double the amount of hours in my day, I might be able to pull off what I want to, but I can’t seem to figure out a way to do that, so I am stuck.

So far, my list has only one thing on it:

“I will make my kids feel important.  My face will light up when they walk in the room.”

This is based on something I heard Toni Morrison say and it has stuck with me.  I am going to plaster it all over the house until it becomes habit for me.

I have vague ideas of other things that I want my list to include such as deepening my relationship with God, working on my marriage, reading, writing, being a better friend and neighbour and daughter and wife and mother and homeschooler and citizen, continuing to advocate for adoption, budgeting and getting out of debt, scrapbooking (maybe), cooking, eating, exercising, waking up earlier, taking better care of myself, eating breakfast, but I can’t step out and write the list until I make decisions about the crossroad I am at.  I ask myself the questions, “what do I want to do with the rest of my life?”, “what would I do with this year if I knew that it were my last?”, “what would I do if I knew that I could not fail?”, “what does God have planned for me?”, “where is God leading me?” and I have no answers, so I wait.

Christmas Shopping

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The past few years, I have had a harder and harder time with gift giving at Christmas. Most of us in North America already have so much and it’s hard to justify spending money on more “stuff” when there are so many around the world who don’t have the basic necessities of life. We have cut back drastically on our overall Christmas spending and have also changed what we spend on! There are two main ways we now choose our Christmas gifts.

We buy gifts such as a goat for a family in a developing country to give to my mom or mosquito nets for a family in an area where Malaria is an issue for a friend or give a donation to an organization benefitting impoverished children in the name of a loved one. If you would like to consider giving such a gift, here are some websites to check out:

One Child

Compassion (for Canadians)

Compassion (for Americans)

Vulnerable Children

We buy gifts that support adoptive families in their efforts to fundraise to bring children who need a family home.  Not only does supporting these efforts help children get a forever family, it encourages the families.  If you’d like to join me in supporting adoption in a practical way, please check out these links:

Africa Sleeps Sleep caps – 5% goes towards Vulnerable Children Society and the rest towards raising funds for this family’s adoption from Lesotho (they have already adopted 2 daughters from Ethiopia).  Dancing Queen is getting 2 of these in her stocking (shhh, don’t tell her)!

Hope t-shirts and Etsy creations This amazing family has such a beautiful story!  They adopted a son from Uganda and are going back to adopt his 2 best friends.

Wild Prairie Farms Selling everything from soaps to t-shirts to coffee and more, this family’s fundraiser will not only help them bring 2 more children home from Ethiopia (they already have 3 Ethiopian born children), it will help them relocate to Ethiopia all together to serve there.

Reece’s Rainbow Angel Tree This wonderful organization allows people to donate directly to the adoption funds of special needs orphans around the world.

Happy Christmas shopping everyone!

Just the Truth

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She laughed, jumped up, threw her arms enthusiastically around my neck and exclaimed, “you’re the best mommy for me!”  As soon as the words were out, her little body tensed up.  And then she pulled back and looked at me and I saw it…the look of regret in her eyes.  That day, I had taken the kids to the Bethlehem Walk, which was incredible and to gymnastics, where I stayed and watched them the whole time.  The night before, I had planned a Minute to Win In themed Family Fun Night.  Because of those things, she was feeling thankful and full of love for me and had expressed what she felt.  But the words hung in the air and she was wishing she could take them back.  “best mommy”

You see, I have not always been her mommy.  She had another mommy before me, one who loved her and cared for her.  She was 4 the first time I held her, but had been 4 six months before that when her first mommy had last held her.  Her memories of her first mommy are fading and with that, comes the guilt.

As soon as I saw the look on her face when she pulled back from me, I cheerfully said, “Yes, I am one of the best mommies for you.  God chose me to be your mommy now after your other best mommy.”  I felt her body relax and a look of relief crossed her face.  Then she threw her arms around me again and squeezed tight.

The truth about adoption is that it is complicated and it is full of loss and it is not easy.  The truth about being an adoptive mom is that there is no room for my pride in the equation.  If I want to try to compete to be the “best mommy”, it is a competition that only my kids will lose.  They need to know that I want them to talk about their other mommy.  They need to know that I accept her because they are part of her.  They need to know that loving her (even if I’ve never met her) is automatic because of my love for them.

The truth for me is that in some circumstances, this is easier than in others.  I don’t want to reveal details about how each of our kids came to need a family, but I will say that 3 of our kids came to us through the foster care system initially and children do not usually end up in that system without cause, so it is more difficult for me to be gracious and take my pride out of the equation in those cases than it is in the case of our internationally adopted children.

Another important truth is that even our Granola Girl who came to us at one day old has intense feelings of loss when it comes to her birth mom.  If I allow myself to be prideful (wanting to assert myself to her as being her only “real” mom), I will minimize her very real feelings and de-value my precious daughter.  But at times, it is hard for me.  I need to continually remind myself that they need validation and permission to feel whatever they feel.

Whatever your true struggle has been this week: a cluttered house, yelling at your kids, battling your weight, harbouring resentment towards a sister-in-law, taking out your frustrations on your husband, feeling guilt over the unfinished lists, refusal to forgive, distance in your relationship with God, feeling inadequate, feeding your kids cereal for supper, having unmet expectations, wishing for something you can’t have, not teaching your kids, skipping church, cutting someone off in traffic, being choked by anger, ignoring your responsibilities, wearing dirty socks because there’s no clean laundry… join in the 

Horse Sensory Bin

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In our homeschool this week…

This was the busiest homeschool week I can remember!  Our theme letter for the week was “Hh”, so we had a Horse Sensory Bin.

I just used hamster shavings and a variety of toy horses, which we had around the house, so it didn’t cost anything and the kids thought it was a lot of fun.

I had a variety of activities in the kids workboxes for the letter “H” including many from Confessions of a Homeschooler. I also included a great book about horses complete with an audio CD.  There were also several horse word searches and worksheets and a few colouring sheets just for fun.

We continued to start our days with a long prayer based on the Armor of God from Drawing Closer by Glen Martin and Dian Ginter.  We added to that additional discussion by focusing specifically on one thing each day such as the Helmet of Salvation and the kids completed colouring/activity sheets on this from here.  The kids also did one colouring sheet every day from the story of the birth of Christ.

Our memory verse for the week was “Honour thy father and they mother.” – Exodus 20:12.

They are really enjoying their typing lessons using Keyboard Classroom.  I will be doing a review on this next week if you are interested in more specifics.

In Story of the World, we did the chapters on Rome Divided in Two and Attila the Hun, the kids did Celtic designs, activity sheets, and tonight, we are having a Celtic feast of roasted chicken, grape juice (wine), berries, and bread where no cutlery will be allowed!

Snuggle Puppy is getting way ahead of Einstein and Miss Optimism in Math U See.  That is just a reflection on his natural tendencies towards anything related to math, but I am trying to get the other kids to catch up a bit because it is so much easier to teach them when they are at least in the same ballpark as far as the concepts go.

Places we’re going and people we’re seeing…

Monday afternoon, we went over to another homeschool family’s house and the kids played and made Christmas cards.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tuesday night, we all went to watch Fred’s band Christmas concert.

Wednesday night, we had a Family Fun Night with a Minute to Win It theme. It was hilarious! You can check out all the details and pictures here.

As someone pointed out in the comments of that post, this theme would make a very fun New Year’s Eve family friendly party.

Thursday morning, we went on the Bethlehem Walk and it was absolutely incredible!  It was very interactive.  In the market area, the kids were encouraged to taste (dates, meat, nuts), smell (handmade soaps etc.), touch (live animals, pottery, sheep’s wool, etc.).  There was a choir of angels floating in the sky in the area before the market and there was a stable full of live animals where Mary and Joseph and baby Jesus were.  All the actors were in character and asked the kids questions such as if we had traveled far to get to Bethlehem and if they had ridden in on camels!  There was a blacksmith who showed them how to make nails and a carpenter carving crucifixes who spoke to them about the need for a Saviour to come.  My kids were excited to tell him that the wait was over…the King had just been born!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thursday afternoon was gymnastics class.

 

 

Today (Friday), I am trying really hard to have an at home day because there are a lot of things that we are behind on and some projects we need to complete such as starting on our Christmas baking.  The kids are also going to make some simple gingerbread crafts.

 

If you are looking for information on making sensory bins, you may be interested in my book. The Ultimate Guide to Sensory Bins

Family Fun Night – Minute to Win It

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These Minute to Win It games are hilarious! They are great to play at home with the family or at your next party or group event. Fun for all ages! We had a Family Fun Night with a Minute to Win It theme. It was extremely easy to come up with the games. 

A collage of 6 images with the words "Family Fun Night Minute to Win It" depicted on a white background in the middle. In the top left image, there are multicoloured balloons on a table. The photo beside shows a black boy with curly hair and his mouth in a wide open smile with an Oreo type cookie on one of his eyes. The next image is of a blonde girl transferring Smarties candies from one plate to another using a straw. The image beside that shows a boy in a blue shirt with his hands in a pair of beige panty hose. The image below shows a teen boy stacking many white plastic cups in a pyramid on a brown table. The last image is of a boy in a blue shirt with his arms raised up in the air in victory.For our party, I used a Minute to Win It party bucket, but it is no longer being sold, so I created a printable decoration kit that includes everything needed to host your own party.

The theme made the evening so much fun! We laughed a lot. It also worked really well for all the different age groups from our youngest right up to us adults.

Decorations:

The Minute to Win It Printable Party Pack includes:

  • Treat Bag Toppers
  • Cupcake Wrappers
  • Cupcake Toppers
  • Favour Bag Tags in two sizes
  • Straw Flags
  • Score Sheets
  • Game Directions for each of the games here and the games in our Dollar Store Minute to Win It night

 

Minute to Win It Printable Decoration Pack in multiple colours

Food:

I had planned to make cupcakes and number them from 1-12 and have them in the shape of a clock, but I ran low on time (ironic?), so we made mini cinnamon rolls instead. I made a variety of finger foods: veggies, surprise spread, tortilla chips, salsa, spinach dip, focaccia, crackers, cheese, and meat.

Minute to Win It Night food

Other food ideas for this theme:

  • take the top layer off Oreo cookies and draw a clock face on the white part with black edible pen or icing. 
  • make a veggie tray in the shape of a clock
  • fried cheese filled wonton clocks

Minute to Win It Games:

This was the really fun part of the night!  Here are some of the games we played. All we needed was a timer and things that most people have around the house. I did buy the ping pong balls, the Oreos, the Smarties, and the panty hose, but everything else we already had. For prizes, I bought mini skateboards, parachute men, and let the kids keep a ping pong ball each. All told, the party supplies cost about $5.

Face the Cookie. 

Each person had a cookie placed on their forehead and had to get it into their mouth without touching it with their hands. Einstein did it successfully!

Face the Cookie Game

Stack Attack.

This game consists of stacking 36 cups in a pyramid and then back down into a single stack. The Ferrari came the closest to conquering this one in one minute.

Stack Attack Game

Movin’ On Up.

(I love the look on Granola Girl’s face here!) In this game, the kids had to start with the blue cup on top and stack the cups one by one until the blue cup is on top again. Use 8-12 cups depending on the age and ability of those playing.

Minute to Win In Cup Game

Junk in the Trunk.

This game is hilarious! With a kleenex box strapped around the waist, the participants had to try to get out the 8 ping pong balls just by movement. It was really funny to watch! We laughed so hard that it was difficult to keep the game going!

Junk in the Trunk Minute to Win It Game

Suck It Up.

In this game, the kids had to transfer Smarties from one plate to another using only a straw. They were able to eat the Smarties afterwards which no one seemed to mind.

Suck It Up Minute to Win It Game

Penny Hose.

Players had to retrieve 2 pennies, one at the bottom of each leg of the panty hose. This is another funny one to watch. It’s more challenging than it sounds.

Penny Hose Minute to Win It Game

Ping Pong Bounce.

In this game, players had to bounce ping pong balls into six cups.  Everyone was able to do it in the minute. It’s nice to choose some games that are a bit more attainable like this one so that people don’t get frustrated. Mix in the easier ones with some of the more challenging games.

Ping Pong Bounce

Keep it Up.

In this game, the kids had to blow a feather across the room into a bucket. Only The Ferrari was able to do it successfully. It was awfully fun to try it though!

Keep It Up Minute to Win It Feather Game

Yank Me.

This game was the hardest.  No one was able to do it in one minute. One of the kids was able to get close though. To play, stack an index card on the top of the cup until there are five cups and then yank the index cards out to attempt to create a single stack of five cups.

Yank Me Minute to Win It Game

It was a great night!  This was a very easy theme to plan around and it was one of the rare themes that worked well with the broad age range of kids that is represented in our family. It would be a great one to plan for family get together, family reunions, birthdays parties, or youth group nights.

You can find other hilarious game ideas at our Dollar Store Minute to Win It Night.

Dollar Store Minute to Win It party

Our Christmas Edition Minute to Win It is perfect for the holidays! 

Or check out our Minute to Win It Thanksgiving Games for your family gathering.

If you’re looking for outdoor large group games to play at a picnic, family reunion, or camping, our Minute to Win It Camping Games are the perfect solution.

Another fun idea for family or group get-togethers is The Flour Game.

The Flour Game square

Another game that is so easy to set up and can be played with large groups and a variety of ages is The Bag Game.

Don’t forget to grab your Minute to Win It Party Pack! Minute to Win It Printable Decoration Pack in multiple colours

Army Theme Birthday Party

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Army Theme Party

A few week’s ago, we had a birthday party for Snuggle Puppy. I am still a bit confused as to why he wanted an army theme, as it is not something he is interested in in the least, but it was easy to plan.

Food. I planned the food around what Snuggle Puppy likes, so it wasn’t your typical kid food. He likes ethnic food, so I served samosas, pakoras, and bahajis. He is a fan of seafood, so I made crab rangoons. I also made a few other appetizers and veggies.

Instead of cake, I made cupcakes in camouflage wrappers and The Husband and I iced them with three different colours to make them look like camouflage. I added little plastic walkie talkies and other army related items to the tops of some and flags to others.

We had a small cupcake mishap, so there weren’t as many in the end as there had been when we iced them, but there were enough to go around!

 

 

 

 

 

Activities. Our daughter, Miss Optimism set up a face painting station and gave willing party guests camouflage faces. Fred and The Husband set up an obstacle course in the backyard and once guests were settled, The Husband put them through “basic training” on the course.

I don’t remember the course exactly, but one at a time, they had to run over, crawl through the tunnel, go up the balance beam, down the slide, over to the climbing wall where they went up that, down something to the other side, through another tunnel, crab walk quite far to the finish where they rode a little car down a ramp.  When everyone was finished the obstacle course (complete with The Husband barking orders at them like a drill sergeant would), they all did a running race. Once their training was complete, they were made honorary soldiers.

Now that they were soldiers, they were given their first mission: to rescue their fellow soldiers who were MIA. Fred had hidden dozens of plastic soldiers in our trees. The kids all enjoyed finding the army men. They were each able to keep any they found.

I also had put some toy army men in two clear plastic cups that I had taped together. The kids could then guess how many army men were in the cups. The one that came the closest got to keep all of them. I forgot to take pictures of these last two activities.

Extras. When party guests first arrived, they were given hats and dog tags that had a place to write their name and rank.  For party favours, each guest was sent home with a bag containing army related items such as plastic compass, binoculars, activity map, soldiers, parachute men, and a few candies in camouflage bags.

a picture of the happy birthday boy with his cousin K. We were blessed with good weather and a great turnout. It was a very fun day!!!