Thank you so much for reaching out. I read what you wrote several times. I saw some of our story reflected in yours and I find it healing to know that there are others on this journey too. I’m so glad to hear that there has been so much progress with your daughter. What may seem small to others is actually HUGE! I’m glad you’ve been able to reflect back on the long journey and realize just how far your family has come. I hope it continues to trend in a mostly positive direction (there’s always going to be some back and forth, but I hope it will mostly be “forth”).

Mother’s day was kind of the beginning, when my daughter (who ran away last Labor Day and has been in an out of home placement since) asked to come to church with us, to cook me lunch, and spent the afternoon just relaxing and hanging out with us. Things have been going better for the past few months but these gestures were HUGE. As was when she said, “You ARE my mom, and I love you.” It felt like she meant it as much as she possibly can at this phase in her life.

She has been able to articulate more and more her gratitude to us for sticking by her through some very, very, very dark times (emotionally, physically and legally). She is able to admit that her choices are what has made things so hard for her. And so much more.

I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting the past few weeks in part because she will be 18 in 33 days, and in part because I was asked to speak at a scholarship fundraiser for the 100% adopted adolescent focused treatment center our family was so very fortunate to find 3+ years ago when we didn’t think we would make it another day. Preparing my talk meant thinking back on that hard time and how far we’ve come.

And because our internet has been down for 2 days I took a couple of hours to clean out email folders and read email after email, and document after document I’d saved over the last 10 years with all the heartbreaking details of our journey.

We are still on a journey with our oldest, as well as our youngest who doesn’t have an attachment disorder but does have a trauma history that affects her emotionally and cognitively. And at moments I can’t believe we are on this side of the trauma that we experienced because of our oldest daughter’s struggles. But here we are…

Thank you for the things you write. My passion is also to help other parents of adopted kids so they don’t feel alone and hopeless like I did for so many years. I’m not a writer so I don’t blog; thanks for letting me share some thoughts on yours.