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Search Results for: prayer wall

Admitting Your Child to a Mental Health Hospital

By Sharla Kostelyk

Last week, we quietly admitted our daughter to a mental health treatment facility. I say “quietly” because we told very few people at the time. There was no Facebook announcement, no sendoff.

My friend Michelle sat beside me at intake where I shakily signed form after form. I was there for 5 hours learning more about the program and answering questions to help them better care for our daughter and then I walked out alone. I felt empty and scared.empty hospital hallway with text that reads "admitting your child to a mental health hospital"The decision to admit our daughter was not one we had arrived at lightly. In fact, the wait list for this particular program was about a year long, so we had had a lot of time to think and rethink our decision. No matter how conflicted we felt though, the bottom line remained the same: we had to give it a try. We were out of other options. We had tried medication, therapy, and outpatient treatment programs. She was suffering. Our family was hurting. We were all living in fear as she continued to decline. It was time.

Our daughter has 3 mental health diagnoses. I’m choosing not to name them in this story because I don’t want this to just be about her and about us. My hope is that you see other stories in ours, to help you better understand and support families you may know who are facing this decision. Or perhaps you’ll see your own story in ours and feel less alone.

There is still such a stigma surrounding mental health. If our daughter had been diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes and she had to be hospitalized for a prolonged period until they could stabilize the disease and if during that time, we had to attend clinics on nutrition and lifestyle changes and information pertaining to her disease and treatment, no one would bat an eye.

We would have announced it on Facebook and put it in the prayer chain at church. There would have been an outpouring of casseroles and prayers and offers to help with our other kids.

But this isn’t the kind of thing that you announce on Facebook or tell people you run into. There is that protective feeling of wanting to shield her from judgment and scrutiny but a knowing that doing that also creates more shame around her disease.

We wrestled with our own feelings of embarrassment, guilt, and shame. We questioned “what could we have done differently?”.

We worry constantly that while almost all of our attention has been focused on the two of our kids with mental health issues, that a crisis could be building in one of our other kids and we may be missing it.

We feel like we are just doing triage, going from one literal crisis to another. It’s hard to even catch our breath.

This kind of life can be so isolating. There are things that have happened in our home that unless you are also walking this path of mental health disease in your children would shock you. My husband and I have literally said to each other, “who could we ever tell this to?”

Do you have any idea how isolating it is to live through “who could we ever tell this to?”? Who would be able to understand (and not judge) things that we can hardly even believe really happen?

Isolation can lead to feelings of hopelessness.

You need a village.

Just 4 days after our daughter’s admission, I found myself at a woman’s event at our church. In line at the buffet table, I answered “fine” to “how are you?” and “good” to “how are all the kids doing?” even though the truth was far from that.

The lie stung in my throat, making it hard to swallow.

Later that morning after the speaker had gone and the room cleared out, I was once again faced with “how are you?”

This time, there was no one else within earshot. I also knew the woman asking had gone through her own trials in life which made it feel safer to share mine.

As the story tumbled out, her eyes filled first with compassion and then with tears. She hugged me and we cried together. And then a magical thing happened. She pulled out her phone and pulled up her calendar and typed in our family’s name on her Wednesday afternoon and evening.

You see, I had shared that one of the many challenges we are now facing is that this program is super intensive and mandates that both parents attend parent sessions and family therapies and on Wednesdays, the time commitment works out to be 6 hours. Wednesday also just happens to be the hardest day for us to find child care for the other kids.

Here was this woman who was not just saying that she would pray for our family or would be “thinking of us”, but actually meeting a need, saying “my husband and I will be there this Wednesday and we will bring supper so you don’t have to worry about that”. What a gift.

You need a village. (worth repeating)

It’s only been a week, and already, we’ve needed to lean on our village.

That first admission day when my friend Michelle sat beside me? She did so much more than that. When I picked her up that morning, she presented our daughter with a gift and a card and these words: “Congratulations! I hear you got into an awesome school that’s super hard to get into and has a long waiting list. You are so lucky!” (all true)

She held us both up in that moment. Later, she took notes in the meetings. My brain wasn’t firing on all cylinders that morning due to the stress and I was sure I would forget important details. She took notes and remembered to ask things that had slipped my mind.

That same morning, one of our other daughters had woken up throwing up (from the stress) and my mom had come to our house to care for her. She also did laundry and changed our sheets. Do you know what a gift it was to crawl into fresh sheets that night after a long and emotional day?!

The night before the admission, we had a crisis here at home with our daughter. During that crisis, my neighbour offered to keep the other kids, to shield them from the worst of it, and to drive kids to and from piano and tutoring. Knowing that my other kids would be safe was also a gift.

Other friends took us out for supper the night of the intake. Honestly, we didn’t feel like going. We both just wanted to crawl into that bed with the fresh sheets and sleep for years. But we had committed and so we went and we ate good food and we were held up by people who loved us and after awhile, we even found ourselves laughing and almost forgetting. Another gift in the midst of such pain.

Is a mental health hospital the right place for your child?

Mental health hospital admissions are all different. For some, it may be an emergency safety admission that lasts for one or two days until the imminent threat has passed. For others, it may be a 30 or 90 day stay.

Our daughter’s program is 4-5 months where she stays at the hospital Monday to Friday and attends school, art therapy, music therapy, group therapy, animal therapy, and family therapy on site and is home on weekends with specific goals to work on at that time. Her program requires an intense commitment from both parents both in time and energy and an even more intense commitment from her.

And when her program ends, that is really only the beginning of the journey for us. We still have a long ways to go.

Perhaps you have come to a place where you find yourself at what feels like the end of the road in your child’s mental health journey. You don’t know what more can be done at home to keep them safe and healthy. Your family is fraying.

You walk around on eggshells every day, worried about what may set your child off. Or perhaps you hardly sleep at night worried that they may harm themselves or others.

I am not a professional and this advice is not meant to replace medical advice. You should always consult with a qualified mental health professional before making these decisions.

When to consider admitting your child to a mental health hospital:

  • they are unsafe at home
  • they are a risk to themselves or others
  • they are under the care of a psychiatrist and/or therapist but are still not stabilizing
  • the family is not able to manage their symptoms at home
  • even working with professionals, you still cannot find the right medications or dosing
  • you or other family members are living in fear
  • your child expresses thoughts of or plans for suicide or attempts suicide
  • addiction
  • upon recommendation of your child’s doctor, psychiatrist, or therapist

Some of the symptoms/diagnoses that MAY require treatment at a mental health facility:

  • suicidal ideation, suicide attempts
  • self harm
  • violent rages
  • inability to cope with life
  • eating disorders
  • severe mood swings
  • depression
  • debilitating anxiety
  • reactive attachment disorder
  • post traumatic stress disorder or developmental trauma disorder
  • obsessive compulsive disorder
  • bipolar disorder
  • schizophrenia
  • substance abuse or addiction
  • Tourette’s
  • autism
  • oppositional defiance disorder
  • attention deficit hyperactivity disorder
  • conduct disorder

Remember that a stay at a mental health facility is one tool that patients and their families can use. It does not create a cure, but it can be the beginning of more stability in the mood disorder or mental illness.

How to be the village:

  • Act the same way you would if their child had had to go into the hospital for a serious physical illness.
  • Show up. Just sit there. Be present.
  • Affirm that this decision must be so hard but that you know they love their child and that this is what their child needs right now. Parents carry so much guilt. They need to be reminded that they are good parents, willing to do hard things like sending their child to get the right help, even when all their instincts as a parent scream at them to keep their child close.
  • Take their other children for play dates, outings, or activities so that the parents can rest. They will typically crash physically and emotionally for at least a few weeks, possibly even months depending on what led up to the hospital admission. Having time to be alone and rest will help them to heal faster.
  • Do something kind for the other kids. Bring a small gift, especially something like a craft or activity they can do. Spend time listening to them or playing a board game or Lego with them. They have likely been getting less than their share of attention in recent months as their parents have had to put the sick sibling at the top of the time and attention list. Siblings can carry their own worry and feelings of guilt.
  • Bring healthy food. Snacks, meals, or gift cards for restaurants or take-out. And remind them to eat.
  • If they are married, help them protect their marriage in the crisis by watching the other kids for them to have date nights, by encouraging their relationship, and by giving them opportunities to spend time with other couples.
  • Sit and have tea or coffee with them. Let them cry and express all kinds of feelings. Regret, sorrow, relief at the new peace in their home, fear because the peace is temporary, dread about the future.
  • Or just watch TV with them or take them to a movie or invite them to dinner. Sometimes it’s also nice not to talk about it.
  • Offer to attend important appointments to take notes or hold their hand and debrief afterwards.
  • Pray for them.
  • Help them research. It is beyond exhausting to try to find programs and services and funding and these families are having a hard enough time just getting through each day. Help them research or make calls or fill out forms. There are so many forms.
  • Serve them in practical ways. Laundry, housework, errands, house repairs. Dishes still pile up even when it feels like the world is crumbling down.
  • Drop off comfort items. Chocolate or coffee or wine or whatever their comfort thing is.
  • Send gas or grocery gift cards or cash. Having a family member in the hospital often means time off work, parking fees, extra driving, and additional expenses. There can also be a high cost for the treatment program and medications.
  • Remind them that you are thinking of them and that what they are doing to fight for their child’s health does not go unnoticed.

If you are walking this road yourself, I’m thinking of you. It’s sure not an easy one. It’s likely not one you ever imagined when you began your parenthood journey. I know I didn’t! Please know that you are not alone.

Join me for a free 5 part email series, Little Hearts, Big Worries offering resources and hope for parents.

You may also want to read:

Let’s Talk Childhood Mental Illness

The Waves of Grief in Special Needs Parenting

What I Wish You Knew About Parenting a Child with Reactive Attachment DisorderWhat I Wish You Knew About being a parent to a child who has RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder)

50 Awesomely Simple Calm Down Strategies for Kids

Parenting Myth: You’re Only as Happy as Your Saddest Child

Filed Under: Special Needs Parenting

Overwhelmed by Your Schedule?

By Sharla Kostelyk

It seems that in past years, the word “busy” has become a badge of honour in our society, yet cultures that focus more on relaxation report being happier. I recently read an article on Dutch children being the happiest children in the world and it drove that point home once again. And yet…I have a hard time finding balance. I want to be less busy. I know what really matters but I find myself getting sucked in to the things that cause my schedule to fill up to the point of being unmanageable.

Overwhelmed by Your Schedule? These tips may help...Image credit: lightwave / 123RF Stock Photo

I try very hard to create margins in our schedule and in my life to account for unexpected emergencies or to allow us to accept last minute invitations. There are appointments that come along with having so many children with special needs and that can’t be avoided. There are also a few choices we have made for extracurricular activities for our kids. We are very cautious due to past experience not to over-schedule our kids. I work extremely hard to be prepared like making two months worth of freezer meals that can go straight into the crock pot and a large monthly grocery shop. I protect my downtime to ensure that I can have the energy that I need. I have made choices to cut back and to make drastic changes so that our family can function more successfully.

There are still times when I become overwhelmed by our schedule and last week was one of those weeks. Put simply, I bit off more than I could chew! As I’m sure it happens for you too, it wasn’t one choice that led to overwhelm, it was many small choices.

I decided that it would be the perfect week to make those two months of freezer meals because I could save an additional few hundred dollars due to a caselot sale and the first Tuesday of the month being 15% off at our local grocery stores. Between the planning, the shopping, the prep work, and my neighbour and I getting together to assemble the 124 meals (62 meals each), at least 3 days were spoken for. I had forgotten that Dancing Queen had her appointment with her psychiatrist that week but when the reminder call came, assumed I could squeeze it in. Miss Optimism was due for her bi-weekly injections. Snuggle Puppy had his first appointment with his new therapist, an absolute must. The Husband and I had a work dinner to attend, a marriage counselling appointment and it was his birthday so we were having his parents over on Saturday.

Then there is the fact that we are in the middle of a renovation/home repair that is a bit of a nightmare at the moment. There were also the usual commitments such as piano lessons, jui jitsu, boys and girls club, and church. I pretty much threw homeschooling out the window for the week because of a few further complications such as four of my kids coming down with really bad colds and the renovations causing a literal “when it rains, it pours” situation when a leak upstairs caused it to rain into the kitchen the day I was doing prep for the freezer meals! My kitchen ceiling now sports a hole, as does my homeschool room ceiling and the wall by my stairway. I felt like throwing my hands up, waving the white flag and surrendering.

Here are some ideas if you are feeling overwhelmed by your schedule:

Gain a fresh perspective.

I’m sure you have read the poems and prayers about being thankful for laundry because it means you have clothes to wear, thankful for dirty dishes because it means there are people depending on you and you have food to eat… They may be a bit redundant, but there is truth in them. Having spent a bit of time in Ethiopia, I can tell you that it doesn’t take much for me to realize that my bathroom renovation woes are very much a first-world problem and an indication of how privileged I am. Stepping back and looking at those whose situations are more challenging than yours or whose busyness is less by choice and more by default because of cancer treatments or working two jobs or single parenting or caring for an aging parent and a chronically ill child can change our attitude about our own circumstances. Perspective really does matter.

Examine your commitments.

Put a moratorium on saying “yes” to anything else until you have pared down your current schedule.

Look at all of your commitments. Write them all down. Prioritize them. Do triage. Then go through the list and ask yourself honestly what can be eliminated. It is easy to say that nothing can be eliminated, but ask yourself, “if I were to get sick, what could I give up?” or “if there were an emergency, what could be taken off my plate?”. After truly analyzing your list,

Ask for a second opinion.

Ask someone you trust who understands your family dynamics and unique circumstances to take a look at the list you have made and see if they see any possibilities you may be missing. When you are actually caught up in the chaos of it, it can be difficult to see new possibilities and explore other options.

While you’re seeking a second opinion, seek out the One who sees the big picture and knows more than even you do about your life. Pray about your schedule. Get into the habit of praying and seeking God’s direction before taking on new commitments as well.

Try something new.

We often think that something on our schedule is mandatory when it might not be. We can also continue to do things the same way that isn’t really working because that’s the only way we know how to do them. There may be ways that you haven’t thought of that would free up time in your schedule.

Think outside the box. Are there ways you could delegate or ask for help? Could you do things in a different way that would create more free time in your schedule? Sometimes even changing the order that you do things can free up a chunk of time.

We have a piano teacher that comes to our home. This frees up hours a month for me. Not only do I not have any travel time, I can also be doing dishes, homeschooling the other kids, cooking, and even working from home while the kids have their piano lessons in our dining room. If this is not an option in your area, there are also free piano lessons online.

Try doing nothing for a week. For no reason at all except for the argument of experiment and to allow your family to recover from over-scheduling, take a week off of everything. Stay at home and play board games together, read, take baths, snuggle under blankets and watch a movie together in the middle of the day in your pyjamas, relax, giggle, sip tea.

Acknowledge the choice.

There are very few things that are truly mandatory. By changing your vocabulary to say “I choose to…” instead of “I have to…”, you make a huge difference in how you view not only your schedule, but your life. It is empowering to acknowledge that it is a choice, even if it doesn’t seem like much of one. Here are some examples of things that we may not think of as choices but to some degree, are:

  • the choice to take your kids to the dentist when they have cavities and are in pain
  • the choice to do paperwork and file your taxes
  • the choice to follow through on your word or the choice to ask to be released from your obligation
  • the choice to do laundry
  • the choice to make meals
  • the choice to go grocery shopping
  •  the choice to run errands
  • the choice to attend recitals, rehearsals, events, parties, classes, seminars, appointments, etc.

You may wonder if I took my own advice last week? To some extent, I did. I cancelled Dancing Queen’s “ubber-important” psychiatrist appointment. I didn’t feel like I could as it takes months to get in, but I realized that I had to. The Husband picked up supper one of those nights that I was making freezer meals which cut into the money I was saving but it was a choice that made more sense than me running myself down any further. When the dentist called to say they had a cancelation I could take for one of the kids, I declined. I let go of homeschooling for the week and for the most part, let go of the guilt of it as well, reasoning that their colds were too severe for them to have attended a brick and mortar school. I blogged less. I let the answering machine pick up all calls. I made an effort to eat healthier. I asked for help.

As I mentioned earlier, I have protected our schedule fiercely over the past few years, doing triage and making choices. Our kids used to be in several extra curricular activities each. That is no longer the case. One year, we had kids in hockey, tae kwondo, soccer, baseball, swimming, Cadets, piano, gymnastics, art, and drama. I look back and see that it began to lead to my burnout. With one or two kids, that would be a challenging schedule. With seven, it was pretty much impossible! I learned my lesson the hard way. Unfortunately, my kids also suffered from those choices. I’m glad I realized my mistake before it was too late.

Taking on less has allowed me to make room for more joy. I can enjoy the things that the kids do instead of feeling like I am just running from one thing to another, never having the chance to appreciate anything. I can have tea with friends. I can say “yes” to the things that bless others. I can read books to my kids. I can breathe.

What is something that you could let go of in your schedule to allow more room for joy in your life?

Filed Under: Parenting in the Chaos

Back to (Home)School

By Sharla Kostelyk

I love the start of a new school year even more than the start of a new calendar year. Even though I am not an organized person, I love that I always start our school year off being organized, having a plan, and feeling like I know what I’m doing. All of that disappears a few weeks into the year, but that fresh promise of new sings to me at the start of each and every year!

The kids like having their new school supplies and getting back to a routine. We usually start our year off in August but have pushed it back this year until late August or early September and I can already see that my kids are craving that schedule and routine and wanting to get back into it.

Starting the New Year Off Well - Back to (Home)SchoolI think it’s important to mark new beginnings together whether it’s in a grand way such as having a celebration or gathering or in a small way like starting the new year off with a prayer or a blessing over your homeschool space.

We usually celebrate back to school by going on a picnic. There are several “not back to school” picnics put on by local homeschool groups in our area and it’s always fun to be outside in the middle of the day, enjoying the sun, watching the kids run around with other kids, chatting with the other moms, knowing that if my kids were in school, they would be sitting at a desk that very minute.

We also usually have a special dessert with supper that first day of “school”. By special, I mean that we just have dessert with supper because normally we don’t!

Even the years that we don’t make it to the picnic and even if I don’t get around to making a special dessert, something that has somehow morphed into an absolutely no exceptions back to school tradition in our home is to pull out the parachute.

As I watch the wind pick the parachute up and blow it up and change it into so many forms, I often think about how that could symbolize how the new year is full of hope and possibilities that can take on any shape and carry us to where God plans to if we let Him. The kids laugh and squeal and it all seems a very fitting activity to begin our year with.

parachute play

How do you celebrate (not) back to school with your kids? Do you have any back to school traditions that you carry out?

My friend Kerry Beck is helping homeschoolers start their new year right with her 4th Annual Homeschool Super Heroes Week. She’s given The Chaos and The Clutter readers a private invitation so you can listen to these Homeschool Super Heroes interviews for free.
16 free homeschool interviews \ HomeschoolSuperHeroes.comNow, in no way do I consider myself a Homeschool SuperHero! This will be my 13th year homeschooling and I still don’t feel like I have it figured out! I am still learning so much from other homeschool moms and from my kids. I don’t think I’ll ever feel anything like a superhero. I’m just an ordinary mom, muddling through.

But I am honoured that I was asked to be included in this year’s group of Homeschool Super Heroes. There are interviews with 15 different homeschooling parents including me with a variety of different areas of experience who can hopefully help you get this year off on the right foot.

In my interview, I will share:

  • briefly about our adoptions
  • encouragement for homeschooling special needs children
  • what I would have done differently if I could go back to the beginning
  • tips about using sensory bins and other sensory resources in your homeschool
  • and more…

(If you go to their webpage, you can see a picture of me in my homeschool super hero cape. I just couldn’t bring myself to post it here because when I see it, I don’t know whether to laugh or be embarrassed or turn it into a poster on my wall for the days when I don’t feel like I am enough. After all, aren’t all moms superheroes just for getting out of bed?!)

If you are interested in hearing the interviews with the Homeschool Super Heroes, head over and check them out. You’ll love these experts and their practical tips to starting your homeschool year off right!

Linking to the Back to School Traditions link up and The Homeschool Village.

Filed Under: Homeschooling

What I’ve Learned About Myself in Homeschooling Special Needs Kids

By Sharla Kostelyk

What I've Learned About Myself in Homeschooling Special Needs Kids

1. I have more patience than I thought I did. 

Although I used to have quite a lot of patience, I didn’t think it would translate well into teaching my kids. I’ve been surprised to discover that when it comes to teaching them the concepts that they are struggling with, I have a lot more patience than I would have thought I did.

2. I have less patience than I thought I did.

The ironic thing is that in being with my kids so much because of the homeschooling, I have also discovered that when it comes to things such as behaviour and sibling rivalry, I have much less patience than I thought I did! My patience has a limit and this means that at times, I need to take breaks like getting out to have tea with a friend or taking a bath to refill my patience bucket.

3. Sometimes it’s the little things that make the big difference.

I used to think that it was the grand gestures and bells and whistles that made things great. With my special needs kids though, it’s really been the small things that have been the big things.

With 5 of my kids having Sensory Processing Disorder in addition to their other special needs, taking five or ten minutes a week to make a sensory bin has done more than taking hours to plan out learning strategies ever would. Starting our homeschool morning with just a five minute time of prayer and devotion changes the whole day. Throwing the housework or schoolwork aside to rock or snuggle one of the kids or to look them in the eye and really hear what they are saying is what will define the outcomes of their learning more than any book work ever could.

4. Attitude is everything.

By that, I mean that my attitude is everything. As the mom and teacher, I really do set the tone for the whole house. If I am cheerful and speak in a soft, kind voice, the kids will for the most part, mimic that in their interactions with each other. If I am frustrated and angry, the whole house erupts. In our homeschooling, if I approach problems as if they will easily be solved, the kids will try for longer, be less inclined to give up or get frustrated, and seem to get more joy out of learning. Even with this nugget of truth, my attitude is far too often not where it should be. I still have much to learn!

5. It’s not about me.

You would think that I would have learned this about myself just in being a mom, but with our two oldest kids (who are neurotypical), I did not have to change much of what came naturally for me. In homeschooling them, I could go with what was easiest and most natural for me and still have them succeed.

Now in homeschooling our younger five, five of whom have special needs, there is no doubt in my mind that it is not about me. What works for me does not make a lick of difference if it doesn’t work for them. The fact that I am a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants, disorganized, unstructured unschooler at heart doesn’t matter because that is not what works for them. They need scheduling and planning and at least some structure. Without it, they cannot function well or succeed, so I go against what I want and instead do what they need.

6. I need to relax.

It doesn’t do me any good to worry about tomorrow or worry about the day when I will have five teenagers in the house all at the same time! I need to relax and enjoy today. I need to find joy in the little moments, the everyday banter, the discovery of frogs in the backyard, the excitement over a lost tooth. I need to find joy in the here and now instead of robbing today from my kids while I worry about tomorrow.

discovering frogs

7. Celebrating the small steps is what makes the journey.

When parenting or homeschooling kids with special needs, the progress can be slow, discouragingly so. If I wait to celebrate the big achievements, I will be waiting a long time. Our oldest daughter was 11 by the time she was able to read for the first time and that was accomplished through a ton of work on my part, her part and with the help of tutors and programs galore. Had I waited until she was reading to take notice of her efforts, she would have missed out and I would have as well. By acknowledging the steps along the way and even in acknowledging her efforts along the way, she and I were both able to stay positive and be encouraged.

With special needs kids, the celebrations may not come in big milestones like they do with other kids. It may be in the making eye contact with a playmate, learning the sound of one letter, expressing their feelings appropriately, or going on an outing without a tantrum that the celebration can begin.

8. My best is good enough…and so is theirs.

This is one I am still working on learning. Most days, I still question if my best is good enough. Their best is all I can ask of my kids and therefore, my best is all I can give. I’m trying to come to terms with that.

9. It’s important to balance adjusting my expectations with being careful not to limit potential.

I learned pretty quickly that I needed to adjust my expectations of my kids based on their abilities, limitations, differences, talents, skills, quirks, and personalities. God made each of them unique and my job is not to turn them into little robots or clones of each other. My job isn’t to compare them to each other or place unrealistic expectations and pressure on them. My job is to facilitate their learning and development and help them to reach their fullest possible potential, whatever that potential may be.

10. My kids teach me infinitely more than I could ever teach them!

I could never in my lifetime hope to teach my kids as much as they have taught me. I have learned more from my kids, especially my kids who face challenges than I ever thought possible. They teach me every day the power of determination, motivation, optimism, and a positive attitude. My kids model the type of unrestrained faith and passion for Jesus that I hope to someday achieve. Despite many obstacles, they never give up…they are simply amazing! I want to be just like them when I grow up!

Filed Under: Homeschooling

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