Comments on: Recognizing the Signs of Reactive Attachment Disorder

By: 12 Myths About Recognizing Developmental Delays - Family, Food and Faith

12 Myths About Recognizing Developmental Delays - Family, Food and Faith — Wed, 19 Jul 2017 02:42:53 +0000

[…] Recognizing the Signs of Reactive Attachment Disorder | The Chaos and The Clutter […]

By: When the Doctor Said His Autism Was Just My Parenting - This Outnumbered Mama

When the Doctor Said His Autism Was Just My Parenting - This Outnumbered Mama — Fri, 14 Jul 2017 01:47:18 +0000

[…] Recognizing the Signs of Reactive Attachment Disorder | The Chaos and The Clutter […]

By: Sharla

Sharla — Sun, 01 Jan 2017 01:43:09 +0000

In reply to Susan. Susan, you are certainly not alone. So much of what you describe is very familiar to me. I hope that you are able to find some helpful resources in your area and a therapist who truly understands RAD and is not fooled by the manipulation. Sending hugs.

By: Susan

Susan — Fri, 30 Dec 2016 23:42:00 +0000

Our daughter was adopted from Eastern Europe at 1 year old. She is now 14. She definitely triangulates and is a master manipulator. She likes whomever gives her what she wants. She has lied to the point of blaming her siblings and both parents of abuse. This has caused endless grief for our entire family. We have tried several therapists but she tries to manipulate them as well. She comes across to the outside world, at least upon first impression, as innocent, reserved, and happy-go-lucky….as long as anyone she encounters gives her what she wants, whether that is a material object, an activity she enjoys, or all of their attention. In school, she will distract others with nonsense speak, “tantrums”, or simply getting up and leaving the class. She never looks anyone in the eye. School testing puts her as above average in many verbal skills; yet she pretends to not understand anything so as to get out of having to complete in class assignments. She has figured out that if she behaves in a not normal manner, she will be dismissed from class to go work out her anxiety in the school’s special room. It is full of fun activities to help reduce kids’ stress, need to move, etc. Needless to say, her manipulations have landed her in the special room more than in her required classes. We have sought treatment for RAD for several years with little success. The hardest part is the level of resentment that has built with her siblings now. At the least, this article lets us know we are not alone and at the most, there may still be hope.

By: Sharla

Sharla — Fri, 18 Nov 2016 05:26:21 +0000

In reply to Debra Halpin.

I’m so sorry to hear about your daughter. It sounds like you have all had a very rough time of it but it also sounds like you have done everything you knew to do. It is very common for children who are adopted at birth to have signs of attachment or trauma issues that go undiagnosed because even some experts assume that if the adoption happened at birth, there was no trauma. Pre-natal trauma is absolutely as significant. But it doesn’t help your daughter for you to carry around the guilt of something that you could not have known. I would suggest that now that you do know that perhaps this is a piece of the puzzle for her, you check out the resources at http://empoweredtoconnect.org Sending hugs and prayers your way. This road is certainly not an easy one.

By: Debra Halpin

Debra Halpin — Fri, 11 Nov 2016 19:29:57 +0000

This makes me so sad because now I feel I didn’t do enough for my daughter. My daughter was born in the US and adopted at birth. Literally! She was born at 3:40 am on Sept 4th and in our home by 6:00 pm that evening. Very different, I know. Her problems started at about age 6 when she was diagnosed with ADHD. She had many social issues as a result and we switched her to a public school for the resources available. She finished elementary school with an IEP but never developed lasting friendships. When she hit middle school, she became more depressed, started cutting, and would get up and leave classrooms. She confided to the counselor that she wanted to hurt herself and it was downhill from there. After 3 hospitalizations in acute care, we decided she needed more than the revolving door these hospitals offered as well as out-patient therapy. We hired an ed consultant and sent our daughter to a residential treatment program. Over the years, including recently, she has been in 3 different places. Most recently, and after a 2-1/2 year reprieve, she had a relapse so significant we had no choice but to find her a young adult program. I am so sad for her and for us. There were so many indications from your checklist. Perhaps if we identified the core reason we could have concentrated more on that and saved her from the placements. Also, by sending her away are we only making her attachment disorder worse? Your article has made me feel that by trying to “save” her from herself, we only made things worse.

By: Sharla

Sharla — Fri, 28 Oct 2016 19:06:26 +0000

In reply to Roxanne.

Roxanne, I know that when you first get a diagnosis of RAD for your child, it can be very overwhelming. We found that EMDR was quite effective, in particular when it came to trauma based issues for our children with RAD.

We did have to resort to medication with some of our kids but we try some dietary changes first. Sugars and food dyes are the big things to watch out for when it comes to that.

With learning, I find that trauma impacts learning more than RAD does but early trauma and RAD often go hand-in-hand so there’s a very real possibility that what is impacting her learning is that the trauma is interfering with her accessing her whole brain. I recommend reading the book The Whole Brain Child for more information on this. Also, doing activities with her that help her brain cross the mid-line (things like touching her opposite toe to hand) will help this process as well.

We had fairly good success with one of our sons with play therapy. The key is to find a good therapist who understands Reactive Attachment Disorder and early childhood trauma.

By: Roxanne

Roxanne — Tue, 25 Oct 2016 12:02:29 +0000

My daughter was diagnosed with rad last year, there was speculation between the disorder or only problems they only now said it really was the disorder and that the eldest one had problems. Their behavior seems miles apart though. Your article was really inspiring and I really want to try such a camp too. It’s only that we haven’t that many expertise with rad in the Netherlands and I was asking help for her behavior for two year before they offered me help, really frustrating and I questioned myself constantly. ill definitely look into your links and I hope it will help my girls too. If I may ask I hate medicin and that’s why I like to adapt their diet accordingly, do you have any more advise in that? We stopped a year ago with too much sugar candies, and even in the drinks we looked into it, and it helped a lot I must say. And what can you advice in the learning department we rehearse a lot with numbers and letters, but nothing seems to really stick (they do like to practice though) we found counseling and they specialize in rad but we haven’t really started, they want to start with play therapy to get to know her and then they want to start emdr therapy. Do you think that’s wise? I feel like the more I learn the less I know about it. Thanks for your article!

By: Bess

Bess — Wed, 20 Jul 2016 04:33:06 +0000

Thank you for sharing your story and your struggles. I’m thrilled to hear you have seen so many gains from your therapy camp. I hope the progress continues.

By: Kirsty @ My Home Truths

Kirsty @ My Home Truths — Fri, 24 Jun 2016 02:33:06 +0000

Thanks for sharing the reality of RAD and some of the struggles you have experienced as a family. I do hope the light at the end of the tunnel is not all that far away now. I’ll be sharing this on my page so other parents who many be experiencing similar challenges can access your journey and the work of Karyn Purvis. Thanks so much for sharing x