I make the drive on autopilot, having made this trip hundreds of times now. I never bother to look for empty spots as I snake my way down the parkade to “our” parking stall, the one in the corner of the lowest level. “Our” parking spot is near the stairs. Some days as we run up the six flights to the top floor, I pause to exhale a prayer of thanks. Taking the stairs is a victory for my daughter.
The first time I drove to this building, we had been discharged from the hospital, my daughter still struggling to breathe. I had begged the doctors there not to send us away, had known in my mommy gut that their assessment was wrong, that something was so terribly wrong with my baby girl.
In the hospital parking lot, I cried out to God for a miracle and He whispered a name. I called that friend and left a sobbing message on her machine. As I drove further away from the hospital, feeling more desperate with each block, I helplessly watched my daughter labour for breath in the back seat. My mind raced.
The cell phone rang. It was the friend whose name had come to mind when I had asked God for a miracle. I heard only snippets of what she was saying “best pediatric pulmonary doc…staying open past closing for you…follow my exact directions to get there…go now”.
When we arrived, her lips were again blue. The doctor was incensed but not surprised that the hospital had discharged her. He began to treat her right there in his office. He was able to accurately diagnose her and take over her future care. Some might say the doctor saved her. I know of course that it was God who saved her, God who has plans for her, God who has blessed me with her for this time.
Having a daughter with a chronic illness has caused me to rely on and trust God in ways that I never thought I could. Through it all, my daughter has taught me the power of compassion and positivity and shown me the true meaning of bravery.
Learning to rely on God in the midst of our daughter’s illness did not come easily for me. It is something that at times I still have to work on. These are the things that helped me:
Accepting that I couldn’t change the situation.
My daughter’s health was something I could not control no matter how much I wanted to or tried. Understanding that worrying constantly or being in a state of near panic did not help to bring her healing helped me to release that burden of worry over to God.
Reading His word.
The Bible talks an awful lot about fear. Reading those verses helps me not only to relinquish that fear but also to realize that for God to provide us with so many verses about it, He must understand how difficult fear is for us.
“For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.”
Isaiah 41:13 (NIV)
Believing in the power of prayer.
I read books and listened to sermons and researched prayer. Then of course, I prayed. I asked others to pray. I continue to pray for a complete and miraculous healing for our daughter.
Knowing that God is the ultimate Healer.
Read verses such as Psalm 103:1-3, Matthew 14:14 and Exodus 23:25-26. Put your trust in Him.
I love this. When my daughter was in the hospital a month ago I fearfully prayed from the deep recesses of my heart. I praised the second I found out she was alright. He provided me with a peace and strength that I never knew existed.
Thank you for sharing.
Sherri, I’m so glad that your daughter is okay. The peace we get from God is like none other.
Great post! Replacing fear with faith is so important. We develop faith by reading scriptures, praying, attending church meetings etc. And then the grieving process… coming to acceptance. It’s so important. I just find it amazing when we come to except God’s plan for us, how much we learn about his trust in us. I am always so humbled that He sent me the special needs children he did, trusting that I would be the best mother for them.
Renae,
I feel the same way about my kids. I am in awe that they were entrusted to me.
This is so powerful Sharla. Thank you. Pinned this to my parenting group boards.
Monica
The Lord works in wonderful ways! So glad you heard that voice and were able to find a doctor that could help your little girl.
Pinning this to my parenting board.
Many thanks for this article! I always find myself worrying like crazy when my son’s asthma flairs up! I worry about the cost, when to take him in, what will the doctors think of me, but truly none of that matters! May God grant us all Faith instead of Fear, and trust His will!
I have prayed and prayed and prayed. What do you do when after 8 years of praying for healing, I sit here in the ICU so hurt and confused that not only has the Lord not healed her but that she has been sick for her entire childhood. WHY!! ?
I’m so sorry. I’m praying for your daughter.
I’m so sorry Melynda. I’m the Nana to a sick little girl. Currently waiting to see if she has to be hospitalized again today. I understand your hurt, your confusion and your “why”. It’s so difficult to find peace when your child is suffering. My granddaughter was diagnosed with Nephrotic Syndrome just before she turned 2, she is now seven. I have begged and pleaded with God, asked him to take it from her and give it to me. I’m still trusting, hoping, waiting, praying for a miracle. I still have to turn her over to God, time and time again because I struggle so with letting her go. I know His plan is perfect…it’s just hard, so very hard. Keeping you and your daughter in my prayer. Keep praying.
My 32-year-old son has been sick for the past 12 years and we’ve gone all over the world seeking help and answers. Treatment makes him as sick as his infections and there are no guarantees. This is a LONG journey and I also spend most of my day trying to let go of worry and not panic and stop trying to “fix” my son. I am learning where I end and God begins and this is a lifelong lesson. The serenity prayer says it all for me. Life is not fair, but my being bitter and angry at God long term has not helped at all. I don’t understand His plan, but if He is God, then His will is going to be done no matter how I direct Him. You who suffer are NOT ALONE in your pain.
My daughter is sick the problem that started as menstrual related pains have become a regular thing that she missed school the whole of last year. Parents the pain she goes through is so much that it has left me power less. I have prayed fasted repented but God seems far away
Maybe check her MTHFR genes. She may need methyl folate. I pray it is something this simple. My daughter has the gene mutation, and her doctor said her periods would be awful.
My son has CHF and his defibrillator went off Thanksgiving and he has been having problems every since with his blood pressure getting too low going back and forth to the ER really not getting the kind a help that we need. My question is how do you turn your children over to God . how do you do that. I believe in God I trust God but how do I not worry about my son
God already has your son wrapped in his arms. He will never let your son go, never. Worrying is such a natural feeling and it’s a constant emotion when you have a sick child. God says, “Worry about nothing but pray about everything.” But do you think the Virgin Mary was not worried about her son, Jesus, when they were crucifying him? Of course she was! As mothers we have fear, regret, Insecurity and moments of pure panic. Lift your eyes and your arms to Jesus he will help you with your pain and worries. My daughter has been chronically ill for years. It is been the love of Jesus Christ and other mothers like yourself that has given me faith,hope and strength to battle through my worries. I will pray for you and your beautiful son.
Beautiful article, Sharla! I pray your daughter does well. My infant daughter had a heart transplant and was in the ICU >6 months. Hearts last an average of 12 years. Some last a month and a few 30 years. Heart kids seem healthy and 2 weeks later they’re gone. There is no cure. No one beats it. No one survives. Only 10% get a re-transplant. I am praying every day to arrive at trust, faith, and acceptance but am not there yet. Young children suffer and die in my FB newsfeed every month (including today). I’m so thankful she’s alive, but its been a very rocky path.