Parenting in the Chaos

Kids need positive affirmations. As parents and teachers, we know the importance of children getting the nutrition, hydration, sleep, and exercise that they need. While those things are crucial for their physical survival, positive affirmations are just as important for their emotional and mental well being. 

What you put into your child is what you’re going to get out of your child. If they only hear negative comments about themselves, they will actually begin to display more and more of those negative traits. 

Think of how awesome you feel when someone gives you a compliment. Your children also feel that in their soul. When they’re young, they derive so much of their own identity from their parents. They are watching and listening to you even when you don’t realize it. They need you to be their biggest cheerleader.

Kids Need Positive Affirmations to Gain Confidence

A child with confidence feels as though they can take on the world. When the adults in their life are speaking powerful words into them, they feel more capable and will be more willing to take on new challenges.

Positive affirmations are more than just a trendy idea. They contribute to growth mindset and help form who your child believes they can be.

You are your child’s inner dialogue. This means they are going to believe what you have to say about them. If you say they are big, strong, and amazing, then they are going to believe just that.

Repeated Positive Affirmations Help Kids with Their Inner Dialogue

Children need to hear over and over again what makes them unique and how thankful you are that they are in the world. You are competing against a world where social media and media in general is sending them the message that they aren’t good enough. They don’t measure up. 

For that reason, you need to be speaking the opposite of that often enough and powerfully enough to drown out the lies.

Our children, whether they know it or not, are looking to us to be their cheerleaders. Are you using your words to build your child up? 

“The way we talk to our children becomes their inner dialogue.” ~ Peggy O’Mara

You’ve probably heard this quote before, but I’d ask you to read it again and really let it sink in. Are the words that you are speaking into your child now the ones that you want them to be speaking to themselves in twenty years? It’s a sobering thought.

On the one hand, it’s daunting to consider how harmful our words can be and the pressure that is on us not to mess our kids up. The truth is, no parent is perfect. We’re all going to say things we shouldn’t. But you can counteract some of the effect of the regretful things you’ve said to your child by pouring in the positive.

It’s never too late to start.

With that, I’ll leave you with one more quote:

“Speak to your children as if they are the wisest, kindest, most beautiful and magical humans on earth, for what they believe is what they will become.” ~ Brooke Hampton

Speak encouraging, life giving words into your child each day. Inspire them to speak to themselves and others using similar language.

These unicorn affirmation colouring pages are an adorable and fun way to reenforce these concepts for your child. They include the following positive affirmations:

• I am confident.
• I am happy.
• I am kind.
• I am brave.
• I am patient.
• I am loved.
• I am a good friend.
• I am proud of myself.
• I am safe.
• I am awesome.

You can download your printable unicorn affirmation pages for kids to colour by submitting your email below.

Have you ever thought about how emotional your toddler can be? Toddlers are some of the most emotional creatures out there. Working through emotions with your toddler takes patience. It can help to remember that toddlers are new to this whole emotion thing and they don’t always know how to navigate those feelings, especially the big ones.

Understanding Toddlers & Their Emotions

Having emotions is a part of being human. We may not always like the emotions that are coming out of our toddler or how they are being expressed, but that doesn’t make their emotions less important. Teaching a toddler to work through their emotions is one of the best parenting moves we can make. Here is how to work through emotions with your toddler:

Acknowledge How Your Toddler Feels

As an adult, you can define your feelings. Toddlers cannot always do that. When your toddler is sad, happy, mad, or upset – help them to acknowledge those feelings. When they can start understanding how they feel, this is a big deal! Don’t try and talk them out of how they feel. Help give them the vocabulary to be able to begin to express their emotions.

Give Your Toddler Tools to Work Through Emotions

Helping your toddler through their emotions can seem like a never ending task. However, they are looking to you to help them through this time period.

You’ll need to guide them through this. For example, if your toddler is mad, give them the tools to help them express their “madness.” Let them draw or even go outside and run around. Toddlers are often too young to be able to use words effectively to express themselves, so using their bodies in ways such as dancing, miming, marching, crawling, painting, or using sensory play.

Another tool that can be helpful with young children is to use puppets, dolls, or stuffed animals to act out different scenarios and the simple emotions and responses that would go along with those emotions.

It’s vital that we give our children tools to help them express their emotions and work through them.

Talk to Your Toddler About Their Emotions

Reassure your child that it is normal and healthy to have feelings. If a toddler is feeling happy or mad, talk to them about these emotions. When someone is happy, they are usually laughing, smiling, and carefree. When a person is mad, they may have a “frownie face” and they aren’t always easy to cheer up.

By talking to your child about their emotions, they start to recognize their own emotions and they will start saying “I am so happy.” “I am sad today.” It’s an amazing feeling to watch a toddler start to understand their emotions. You can use a chart to help them identify the emotion they are feeling at that time.

Practice Patience as You Help Your Toddler with Their Emotions

Sometimes when our toddler hits someone or has a tantrum, it can invoke anger in us. As parents, it’s vital that we don’t let our toddler’s emotions become our emotions. Parenting calmly and patiently is going to teach your child more an angry reaction ever will. That’s easier said than done, but so critical.

As parents, we are the people our children will learn from the most. If we’re struggling with our own emotions, we can’t effectively help them. If you find yourself struggling with anger, frustration, or negative behaviours in response to your emotions, it’s wise to seek counselling before you try and coach your toddler with their emotions.

How Do I Help a Toddler Through Their Emotions?

Now that you have some tips for helping a toddler through their emotions, you may need a few practical ideas you can apply to the situation.

• Encourage your child.
• Give your child praise.
• Get your child on a good routine with mealtimes and bedtimes.
• Help your child know what to do when they have emotions.
• Let your toddler know that it is going to be okay.

How Can I Help My Child Express Their Feelings?

Expressing emotions is important and toddlers need to know how to express theirs. Here are some tips for helping your toddler express their emotions.

• Listen to them as they talk.
• Let them talk about their feelings.
• Help them find a way to express those emotions (painting, a sport, dancing, breathing).
• Talk about different feelings and words to describe those feelings.

Working through emotions with your toddler won’t stop when they’re 2, 3, or 4. You’ll need to help your child through different emotions at different ages. However, being a toddler is difficult because they don’t always have the right words or maturity to work through emotions.

What tips do you have for helping toddlers work through their emotions?

Join thousands of other people who have found help in our free 5 part email series, Little Hearts, Big Worries offering resources and hope for parents.

You may also be interested in reading these articles:

5 Things to Say to Your Anxious Toddler

Calming Your Child’s Fight, Flight, or Freeze Response

Knowing how to help your little one through their feelings is hard. Anxiety is tough as an adult, so you can imagine how difficult it would be for a 2 or 3 year old to outwardly express their anxiety. If your toddler is struggling with anxiety, there are some helpful things you can say. Anxiety can sometimes be a healthy emotion, as long as it is not experienced in excessiveness.

If anxiety is left unchecked, then it can lead to excessive fear and worry. If you have a toddler who is anxious, you will need some tools in your emotional toolbox to help them out.

What to Say to Your Anxious Toddler

As humans, we say a lot of WRONG things. When it comes to your toddler and their anxiousness, it’s important that you say the RIGHT things. Here is what to say to your anxious toddler:

“I AM HERE TO LISTEN”

I know that you may want to tell your child what to say and think right now, but they may just need to know you are listening.

Whether they are crying tears or speaking gibberish, they may just need you to listen. You can tell your anxious toddler that you’re here to listen!

“LET’S DRAW IT”

What if your toddler cannot put into words how they feel? You can say 3 simple words and those words are “let’s draw it.”

When your toddler has a chance to draw what they’re feeling, amazing things are happening. They are learning to work through their emotions. Also, they may forget about what is making them anxious.

Drawing is such a good tool in helping your anxious toddler work through how they are feeling. Give it a try!

You can also have them shape their emotions out of playdough using something like these Emotions Playdough Mats.

“WHAT IS SOMETHING WE CAN DO TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER?”

What if there was one thing you could do to help your toddler not feel as anxious?

One thing you can do is ask a question. That question is “what is something we can do to make you feel better?”

You know your toddler best. What is going to help them feel less anxious?

• Maybe it’s watching their favourite show
• Or being held as you sing
• Maybe it’s holding and snuggling their favourite stuffed animal
• Or perhaps it’s holding your hand

Let your toddler decide what will make them feel less anxious! Give it a try.

“How Do You Feel?” or “HOW DOES THIS WORRY MAKE YOU FEEL?”

Although, this may seem like a simple question, it’s a big question to an anxious toddler.

Asking your toddler how they feel or how their worry makes them feel is important. This validates that your toddler has a big feeling.

Feeling anxious is not fun. Talking to your toddler and helping them understand how anxiety makes them feel is vital to their development.

Toddlers may not yet have the vocabulary to express their feelings. It is so important to give them those skills. You can find some hands-on activities and ideas in our Teaching Emotions Toolkit. 

What could possibly make a toddler feel anxious?

• New routine
• New setting
• An activity they don’t like
• Yelling
• Stress

Talk to your toddler about their anxiousness and their worry.

“WHAT CAN WE DO TO HELP YOU GET CALM?”

The thing about being an adult is that most adults know how to calm themselves down. Toddlers need a lot of help.

Just like you have to parent toddlers with everything else in their life, you need to help them with this aspect as well.

If your toddler is feeling anxious, then it’s important to give them options to calm down.

Here are some ideas:

• calm down kit
• blowing bubbles (our recipe for calming lavender bubbles)
• calm down breathing

The calming down technique may be custom to your toddler. It may take a while to figure out something that works, but you can do this.

How Do I Know If My Toddler Has Anxiety?

Honestly, if your toddler has anxiety, you might not even be able to recognize it. Anxiety is actually quite complicated. The heart rate can speed up, the stomach may be in knots, a ball in the chest. Anxiety can look different for each person.

If your concerns continue, speak to your child’s paediatrician.

What Can Cause an Anxiety Attack?

So many different things can cause an anxiety attack. When a person feels stress, worry, or fear, it can lead to a lot of anxiety or even an anxiety attack.

There is no age limit for anxiety attacks, so keep this in mind as you deal with your anxious toddler. What looks like a tantrum may in fact be something related to anxiety. Read more about anxiety symptoms in children.

The Best Things to Include in a Calm Down Kit

Calm Down Activities for Kids

Raising kids is hard. Raising kids to be kind is even harder. The advances in technology are wonderful for so many things, but they also bring additional challenges, especially for parents wanting to teach kids kindness and empathy.

Yes, I want my children to grow up to be capable and confident. I wouldn’t hate it if they were successful in their careers and family lives. But one of the things I want most for my children is for them to be kind.

I want them to show compassion for others and to be able to look outside themselves, for them to see a need and try to meet it or at the very least, to come alongside that person and show them that they are not alone.

Why teach kindness?

Nurturing our children’s character is one of our most important jobs as parents. There are benefits to our child as well.

Showing kindness to others boosts self-image. It enriches life. Social and emotional intelligence are just as important (if not more so) than academic intelligence.

As parents, there are a few obvious ways we can teach kindness to our children:

• model kindness
• teach gratitude
• talk about the feelings of others
• discuss the joy you get out of helping others
• be sure that your child knows that there are those less fortunate in the world

An effective way to teach kids kindness:

All the above ideas to teach kindness are necessary if you want your child to think outside of themselves, but there is one thing I have found that goes a step further and that is child sponsorship.

Child sponsorship is an activity the whole family can get involved in. In this world of cell phones and internet, although in some ways the world can feel like a small place, in others, it can be easy to feel disconnected. Sponsoring a child in a developing country can be a way to bridge that connection.

Some suggestions to make this activity even more meaningful:

• • involve your child in the process of choosing the child you want to sponsor
  • perhaps choose a child who is the same age as your child or the same gender or who has similar interests
  • send letters back and forth to your sponsored child which will allow your child to make a connection and for them to learn more about them and about their country (not sure what to write. Read what to write to your sponsored child.)
  • place the picture of your sponsored child in a prominent area in your home and talk about them or pray for them as a family
  • allow your child to help in the money aspect – this can involve them selling some of their toys at a garage sale, donating some of their allowance or birthday money, or even them sacrificing going out for ice cream or fast food so that they money that would have been spent can instead go towards the sponsored child
  • go as a family to meet your sponsor child – I know this option may not be possible for all people, but it really takes this experience to the next level as you are able to see firsthand the difference your support is making

Child Sponsorship:

Back in March, I was privileged to go to the Dominican Republic with an organization called One Child Matters. It is hard for me to put into words what my time there meant and how transformative it was for me. I fell in love with the community there and with the children that I spent time with.

But I also fell in love with One Child Matters and their heart for the people they serve. I will admit that I was somewhat skeptical going in. I didn’t know much about them or what they stand for. It didn’t take long for me to be blown away for the work they are doing there and around the world.

They don’t march into communities and assume that they have all the answers. They find well respected community members who are already working with children and partner with them. And then they ask what is needed for that particular community. It’s a smart model.

I wish I could have taken you with me so that you could have seen the need, looked into the faces of those who would benefit most from your sponsorship. The joy of the children contrasted so starkly with the tremendous poverty and conditions. But the work of One Child Matters there was already changing lives. We witnessed it.

Be the difference for one child today…

I’d like to bring you along on the journey and allow you to breathe in the smells and bear witness to the tears and the transformations. The best I can do is to invite you to take in some of the pictures and ask that you would consider if your family could help just one child.

Those of us who went on that trip have set a huge goal for ourselves to get 1,000 kids sponsored. When you hear such a big number, it sounds impossible, but not when you think about just one child. Would you help us by sponsoring just one child? Be the difference for one child today.

The amazing photos in this post are thanks to Ashlee Kay, Kaylin Perdomo, Jo Lord, David Alink, and Luis Sanchez. 

More stories from those who went on the trip:

What to Write to Your Sponsored Child – Teaching Mama

Why Meeting Your Sponsor Child is Worth the Time and Expense – Math Geek Mama

The Mother Teresa of Latin America – Preschool Inspirations