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Recognizing the Signs of Sensory Overload in Children

By Sharla Kostelyk Leave a Comment

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Sensory input is coming at us constantly. Whether we are in a quiet room by ourselves or at a busy birthday party, sensory experiences are shaping how we perceive the world around us. Sensory overload can happen to all of us, but for children with sensory processing issues, it can be overwhelming. They may not have the tools and coping skills to handle all the sensory information their bodies are processing. Recognizing the signs of sensory overload in children #sensoryprocessing #sensory #SPD #sensoryprocessingdisorder #specialneeds

 

What is sensory overload?

Sensory overload occurs when the body is unable to process, organize, and respond to all the incoming sensory input. Although this can happen to anyone, it is more common in those who have Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) or sensory issues.

Technology and our fast paced society has led to us being bombarded with more and more sensory stimuli. It is no wonder that our brains and nervous systems are sometimes overloaded.

Picture this:

It’s public swim time at the local indoor pool. There are the sounds of kids screaming, babies crying, parents calling out to get their child’s attention, music coming over the speakers, the whir of the pumps, the constant flow of the waterslide, the drip of the waterfall, and splashing water.

You see bright overhead lights, a row of red and yellow life jackets hanging on the wall, people everywhere, pool toys and flotation devices covering the surface of the water, diving boards, a swinging rope, spinning ceiling fans, and there’s even a woman practising kickboxing on a yoga mat on the pool deck.

There is the feel of the pressure of water around you, water suddenly being splashed into your face as someone kicks nearby, the warmth of the hot tub and sauna contrasted with the cold of the salt water children’s wading pool.

You pick up on a mixture of smells as the chlorine of the adult pool and the salt water of the children’s pool mix with everyone’s shampoos and body washes and perfumes. There’s the taste of salt or chlorine as you come up sputtering. There’s the feeling of the movement through the water or the burn of the waterslide on your back and the feel of the air on your face as you quickly soar through the air off the high diving board before plunging into the water below.

This doesn’t even take into consideration the crowded change rooms or lobby. It’s easy to see how anyone could experience sensory overload on a trip to the swimming pool!

Why is it important to recognize the signs of sensory overload?

By catching the signs of sensory overload early, you can help your child to self-regulate and possibly prevent a sensory meltdown or having your child go into fight, flight, or freeze mode. Sensory overload is not the same as a sensory meltdown, but it can be the precursor to one.

When children have sensory processing challenges, it makes them more susceptible to sensory overload. They may not be able to recognize the signs themselves until they are slowly taught to do so. This is why it is important for their parents or teachers to be on the lookout for clues that indicate that sensory overload is happening.

It is also important to talk about those signs with the child to help them recognize them in themselves. This is something that is usually best done later when the child is calm and no longer showing signs of sensory overload.

What are the signs of sensory processing overload in children?

  • appears to have a higher level of activity (over excited) or sensitivity than normal during or following an activity
  • becomes increasingly distracted, disoriented, or confused
  • may feel nauseous and/or vomit
  • sudden paleness or flushed, sweaty, or clammy skin
  • rapid breathing or slower shallow breathing
  • decreased or increased muscle tone
  • tremors
  • glazed-over look in the eyes or signs of a possible seizure
  • drowsiness/fatigue
  • sleeplessness
  • irritability and/or angry outbursts
  • “shuts down” and refuses to participate in an activity
  • makes poor eye contact
  • covers eyes around bright lights
  • covers ears to avoid loud sounds or voices
  • avoids being touched or touching others
  • constantly changing a task, never finishing
  • fidgeting and restlessness

Get your own copy of Sensory Processing Overload Signs to print off and keep as a reminder here. 

Preventing sensory overload:

  • Monitor the environment. Be on the lookout for things that may be giving too much sensory input.
  • Reduce the visual and auditory clutter in your home, especially in rooms the child spends the most time.
  • Avoid places and situations that will have too much stimulus.
  • When those situations can’t be avoided, provide tools such as noise reducing headphones to reduce sensory input.
  • Work with a qualified Occupational Therapist (OT).
  • Offer regular sensory breaks throughout the day.
  • Take extra time and give warnings to help the child prepare for any transition times.
  • Maintain a predictable schedule and routine.
  • Use calming strategies and breathing techniques.

Don’t forget to grab your list of sensory processing overload signs! 

You may also want to read:

Sensory Meltdowns

Calm Down Activities for Kids 

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Filed Under: Sensory, Special Needs Parenting

Sensory Solutions and Activities Free Email Series

By Sharla Kostelyk Leave a Comment

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If you are looking for answers to your sensory questions, sign up for our FREE email series, Sensory Solutions and Activities. Enter your email below. Your first message in the series should arrive within an hour. If it doesn’t, check your Spam folder in case it inadvertently ends up there.

Having many children with Sensory Processing Disorder has given me the opportunity to learn so much from our experience. I love being able to share that knowledge with others.

What you’ll find in this email series:

  • someone who understands
  • tools to help you along the journey
  • information about sensory processing
  • sensory solutions
  • sensory activity suggestions
  • sensory meltdowns – what they are, how to prevent them and what to do when they happen

You will also receive free printables to help you in your home or classroom.

The nice thing about getting this information in an email series is that it allows you to read when it’s most convenient for you and to keep the resources that are most relevant to you. If you are looking for answers to your sensory questions, sign up for our FREE email series, Sensory Solutions and Activities. #SPD #sensoryprocessing #sensoryprocessingdisorder

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Filed Under: Sensory

The Waves of Grief in Special Needs Parenting

By Sharla Kostelyk 1 Comment

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There is a unique kind of grief that comes along with being the parent of a child with special needs. For me, the grief comes in waves, sometimes threatening to overtake me while at other times ebbing and allowing me the chance to breathe. The waves of grief that can come in parenting a child with special needs #parentingspecialneeds #parenting #specialneeds

Maybe you find yourself feeling this grief too. You may feel guilty for the conflicting feelings you have. I want you to know that it’s okay to grieve.

Before you had your child, you probably had an idea of what it would be like to watch them grow up. Maybe you imagined being at their baseball games cheering from the sidelines or pictured moments snuggled up on the couch together reading a favourite story. You may even have projected things far in advance such as their wedding day or high school graduation. No doubt you also imagined what you would be like as a parent and what you would teach your child.

The dreams you had and the vision in your mind of what your family would be like probably looked quite different from how the average day plays out in your home.

And while normally, I am here to give you tools to help you better meet your child’s needs or better understand them and I’m here to help you champion your child, today, I’m here to say that it’s okay to grieve for what you thought would be and isn’t.

Do any of these apply to you?

  • your child’s behaviours sometimes have you in tears
  • you question your ability to adequately meet their needs
  • you’ve received a diagnosis for your child
  • your child rejects you
  • your home is more chaos than peace
  • you feel like your friends with “neuro-typical kids” just cannot understand
  • you feel isolated or alone
  • you sometimes think about the dream you used to have for your child
  • you think about “before” your child’s illness or diagnosis and feel sadness

I need you to know that feeling these things does not make you a terrible parent. These feelings do not make you an awful person. It makes you human. It is normal to grieve the loss of something. Having a child who struggles is the loss of the dream of how you thought things would be. It’s okay to grieve that loss.

To be clear, grieving the child you thought you would have does not mean that you do not love the child that is.

Give yourself the time, space and care to be able to grieve what is a very real loss. That means allowing yourself to cry, talking to others who do understand (find those who have walked this road themselves), self-care, self-care, self-care, and possibly even going to therapy to help process and work through your emotions.

The grief doesn’t end. It comes in waves. Sometimes I’m fine for months, and then BAM, I’m a puddle of tears in the fetal position on my bathroom floor holding a chocolate bar!

Seeing my daughter grieving her hearing loss, my son not having friends to invite to his birthday party, even something like reading the posts of friends on Facebook can ignite my grief anew. The waves can build up over time or swell quickly spurred on by an event or milestone. 

I used to feel so guilty for these feelings. I felt like I had no right to be feeling sad myself when my child was the one being directly affected by their challenges.

But then I came to accept that it’s okay to acknowledge those feelings and to really feel them. It’s okay to admit that my dreams need to be different now. It’s okay to grieve.

Of course, it’s also important to push through and find those new dreams and new ways to create joy in your life and your child’s life. It’s about balance. You’re not going to be any good to anyone if you are crumpled on your bathroom floor clutching a chocolate bar every single day, but your family will survive if you go for a drive and have a good cry once in awhile.

If you’re looking for support or information, join me for a free 5 part email series, Little Hearts, Big Worries offering resources and hope for parents. 

If you’re looking for a place where other parents understand, join our group on Facebook with other parents who are parenting children with additional challenges.

You may also want to read:

Special Needs Mama, You Are Amazing!Encouragement for all the brave moms raising a child with special needs and fighting the good fight every day

12 Things That Special Needs Mom Needs from You 12 Things a Special Needs Mom Needs from you

Special Needs Parenting Resources 

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Filed Under: Adoption, Special Needs Parenting

A Summer Bucket List for Simple Fun

By Sharla Kostelyk 12 Comments

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Do you remember lazy summer days spent splashing in a blow up pool with the stickiness of melting popsicles dripping down your hand? The days when you rode your bike with kids kids from the neighbourhood and played hopscotch and raced back home before the streetlights came on? It’s that kind of old-fashioned summer that I’m trying to recreate with this Summer Bucket List. This summer bucket list is all about creating good old fashioned simple memories for your kids this season.

Last year, I made a Summer Bucket List for Moms Who Want to Engage because I became aware of how often I watch my kids having fun but don’t actually join in with them. It was the perfect plan for us for that season of our life. This year, I needed something different.

This year has been chaotic. I am feeling the need to simplify and get back to basics. That led me to creating this summer bucket list. The one I made for this upcoming season is one full of ideas that I remember doing in my childhood summers. I hope you are able to find some gems on here for your family.

I have tried to keep the ideas easy and inexpensive. This will help me to create a simple summer full of childhood memories for my kids.

Summer Bucket List:

  1. Climb trees.
  2. Go berry picking. (Saskatoons are my favourite!)
  3. Ride bikes.
  4. Play horseshoes.
  5. Eat watermelon.
  6. Have a watermelon seed spitting contest.
  7. Count the seconds between the thunder and the lightning during a summer storm.
  8. Blow bubbles.
  9. Play mini golf.
  10. Tent in the backyard.
  11. Have a picnic.
  12. Go fly a kite. (I cannot type that without the Mary Poppins song going through my head!)
  13. Run through a sprinkler.
  14. Go to a splash park.
  15. Eat ice cream…with fixings!
  16. Watch a parade.
  17. Jump rope.
  18. Build tin can stilts.
  19. Fly paper airplanes.
  20. Fish in the pond.
  21. Go bowling.
  22. Make popsicles. Let the kids invent their own popsicle recipes.
  23. Find pictures in the clouds.
  24. Skip rocks.
  25. Tell ghost stories around a campfire.
  26. Sing loudly in the van.
  27. Play board games.
  28. Make a DIY slip ‘n’ slide.
  29. Play tag.
  30. Go to a Farmer’s Market.
  31. Cheer for a local team.
  32. Have a water fight.
  33. Go for a walk.
  34. Make a lemonade stand.
  35. Play hopscotch.
  36. Play cards on a rainy day.
  37. Build a fort.
  38. Go camping.
  39. Paint rocks.
  40. Play in sensory bins.
  41. Run through long grass.
  42. Have a hula hoop contest.
  43. Make s’mores.
  44. Watch fireworks.
  45. Collect seashells on the beach.
  46. Walk barefoot.
  47. Play on the trampoline with a sprinkler running underneath.
  48. Build sandcastles.
  49. Have a three-legged race.
  50. Participate in the summer reading program at the library.
  51. Host a neighbourhood penny carnival.
  52. Make shrinkydinks.
  53. Read by flashlight under the covers.
  54. Play dress-up.
  55. Have fun with face paint.
  56. Put on a puppet show.
  57. Play hide and seek.
  58. Draw with sidewalk chalk.
  59. Go on scavenger hunts.
  60. Skip. (you can, but do not have to, sing “Skip to my Loo” while skipping!)
  61. Get dirty.
  62. Go to the playground.
  63. Plant a garden or even just a flower.
  64. Stay up late.
  65. Make a tin can and string telephone.
  66. Have a family fun night.
  67. Go on a road trip.
  68. Catch butterflies.
  69. Dig up worms.
  70. Write and mail letters to relatives, the old fashioned way, with stamps.
  71. Help out a neighbour.
  72. Play the telephone game. (sometimes called the whisper game)
  73. Make real lemonade.
  74. Red Rover, Red Rover, we call…
  75. Have a sack race.

You can print off a copy of A Bucket List for a Simpler Summer if you want to use it to create your own old- fashioned summer for your kids. I’d love to see pictures of how it goes.

If you are looking for other fun summer ideas, you may be interested in checking out my Summer Sensory Activities Series.

Summer Sensory Activities Series

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Filed Under: Crafts and Activities, Parenting in the Chaos

An After School Meltdown Strategy that Actually Works

By Sharla Kostelyk 7 Comments

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Within days of school starting last Fall, I saw a pattern emerging. Each day in the first half hour after arriving home from school (often in the first few minutes even), our daughter would have an outburst or emotional breakdown. I was beginning to dread the arrival of the school bus. It was perplexing because she loved going to school. She was making friends. She liked her teacher and her aide. That made these after school meltdowns confusing.

An After School Meltdown Strategy that really works #parenting #parentingtips #parentingspecialneedsI played detective. I talked to the school. They confirmed that she was adjusting well there. I listened to her feelings. I tracked any other possible triggers for these behaviours. I was able to come to the conclusion that she was having a hard time transitioning between school and home.

She needed help making that transition. She needed a way to reset after all the feelings (good and bad) and sensory input of the day. My daughter needed me to put a strategy in place to help her.

I was able to come up with a plan that I thought would work and thankfully, it did. Almost every day since, we have used this strategy and it has eliminated the daily after school meltdown.

There have been a few times when I got caught up in being busy with the other kids and haven’t implemented it and almost every time, she has had a breakdown. This shows me how important it is for us to do it every single day.

Why does an After School Meltdown Happen:

Once I began to research my daughter’s reactions, I discovered that the phenomenon of a daily or weekly after school meltdown is something many kids and their parents struggle with. There has even been a term coined by Psychotherapist Andrea Nair to describe this type of occurrence, “after school restraint collapse”.

Essentially, this occurs when kids get to their safe place and can express what they may have been holding in all day. Even if the emotions of the day were positive, there may just be a build-up of them and without the coping strategies to know how to deal with them, kids meltdown or explode.

Think of it this way: your child’s after school meltdown is actually a sign that they trust you! All the emotions of the day get bottled up and release when they feel safe.

What an after school meltdown may look like:

  • defiance
  • screaming
  • tantrum
  • overly emotional
  • easily upset
  • picking fights with siblings or parents
  • refusing to do homework or chores
  • excessive whining

The After School Meltdown Strategy:

  1. Connection. The second my daughter walks in the door, I greet her with eye contact, a smile, a hug or a kiss on the cheek. I say something affirming like “It’s good to see you.”, “I’m happy you’re home”, or on the days where she is already mid-meltdown by the time she gets to the door, “It’s going to be alright”.
  2. Meeting basic needs. Immediately after a moment of connection, it’s time for a glass of water and a snack. It is so important for kids, especially kids who’ve had early childhood trauma, to have those basic survival needs met. Like Maslow’s hierarchy of needs suggests, children need to have their physiological needs met before they can feel safe.
  3. Time to reset. After our daughter has had that connection moment with me and water and a quick snack, she then goes into either her room or the sensory room for half an hour. This time allows her brain to decompress and transition back to home.

When I came up with this strategy, I talked with my daughter the day before we started. We talked about how she was having a hard time transitioning back home after her school days. I told her that it was normal and okay after all the excitement and change at school to feel a lot of different emotions afterwards.

I explained that we were going to start a new after school routine. I told her what to expect and made sure she understood that the time in her room or sensory room was not a consequence or punishment. I talked about how we all need time to ourselves sometimes. I asked her for ideas of what she could do in that time. She wasn’t thrilled about this part of the plan, so it didn’t all go smoothly. We talked about her feelings and I reassured her again that this was not a consequence or rejection. She soon began to talk about how she could use that time to read Archie comics or draw or play with her sensory toys.

This after school meltdown strategy has worked wonders. I no longer dread the time of day when the bus drops my daughter off. The other kids are more calm knowing that these outbursts don’t happen as often. It’s made such a difference to the tone of our home. I hope it can do the same for your home too.

If you’re looking for other parenting strategies, you may want to join me for a free 5 part email series, Little Hearts, Big Worries offering resources and hope for parents. 

You may also want to read:

5 Critical Steps to Take When Your Child has a Meltdown Sensory Meltdowns: What They Are and What To Do 

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Filed Under: Parenting in the Chaos, Special Needs Parenting

Symptoms of Anxiety in Children

By Sharla Kostelyk Leave a Comment

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There are a wide range of signs and symptoms of anxiety in children. Anxiety presents differently from child to child and anxiety disorders run the range from mild to severe.

Signs and Symptoms of Anxiety in ChildrenSome degree of anxiety is normal for all children. When anxiety begins to interfere with your child’s daily activities, attending school or social situations, or prohibits them from doing what other children their age are doing, it is time to consult a professional.

This list is not meant to be used as a diagnostic tool. If you suspect that your child is suffering from an anxiety disorder, consult your paediatrician or to a child psychiatrist.

Subtle signs of anxiety in kids:

  • needing reassurance often
  • avoiding new situations
  • unexplained physical pains
  • developing fears such as to the dark, spiders, dogs, school, exams, germs
  • becoming easily upset
  • not wanting to try new things
  • worrying
  • asking for help with simple tasks
  • not wanting to sleep alone
  • being overly pessimistic
  • complaining often
  • fidgeting
  • crying over seemingly small things
  • being overly cautious

Symptoms of anxiety in children:

  • trouble sleeping
  • frequent stomachaches with no physical cause
  • frequent headaches with no physical explanation
  • trouble concentrating
  • irritability
  • explosive outbursts
  • hiding
  • excessive bouts of crying
  • clinging to parents or caregivers
  • expressing worry that persists for days or weeks
  • wanting to avoid school
  • avoiding social situations
  • hair pulling
  • nail biting
  • fatigue

Anxiety can look like misbehaviour, a “strong-willed child”, defiance, or an attempt to get attention. It can also be a secondary issue to things such as early childhood trauma, post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), reactive attachment disorder (RAD), sensory processing disorder (SPD), attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), or other diagnoses. Due to this, there can be some confusion and overlap in the symptoms.

In some kids, signs of anxiety will only present at school or in social situations. This can be due to the anxiety being specific to separation anxiety or social anxiety disorder.

Remember that while many of the symptoms on the lists above are common in all children, it is the frequency and severity of the symptoms that will give you an indication that there may be more at play for your child than the normal worries in childhood.

As a parent, watching your child struggle with anxiety is so difficult. It can be such a challenge to know what to do. Trying to reason with them doesn’t dissuade their worries. It is a helpless feeling to see your child in distress.

We have found that using a Calm Down Kit has helped our daughter tremendously. We have also given her calm down strategies and taught her calm down breathing.

Giving your child effective coping skills can make a world of difference. These tools and techniques when practised over time and when combined with therapy have enabled her to manage her anxiety. Medication may also be suggested from your child’s psychiatrist or paediatrician.

If you are parenting a child with anxiety, you may benefit from our free 5 part email series, Little Hearts, Big Worries offering resources and hope for parents.

Calm Down Kit for Kids 

Calm Down Strategies

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Filed Under: Special Needs Parenting

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