Special Needs Parenting

When I created a calm down kit for our daughter, it was a turning point for all of us. It helped her in so many ways. It gave her tools and strategies to calm herself and help regulate her emotions. She is empowered. These suggestions of the best things to include in a calm down kit should be helpful for you to create your own.

It is important to note that what works best in a calm down kit for one child will not necessarily work for another. You’ll start to see in time what is most effective for your child.

It’s only once you’ve used the kit a number of times that you’ll get a sense of what items might not be necessary and even what type of things to perhaps include more of.

It’s important to teach your child to use the kit and “practise” using it when they are calm. During a meltdown or period of anxiety, a child can go into fight, flight, or freeze mode, making it difficult for them to make decisions and think logically.

Practising using the calm down kit during down times will enable them to know what things help in times of distress.

What to Include in a Calm Down Kit:

• calm down cards
• small container of bubbles
• chewelry
• weighted stuffed animal
• calm down bottle
• emotion cards
• weighted blanket or soft blanket
• playdough (this calming lavender playdough is perfect)
• noise cancelling headphones
• stress ball (easily make your own)
• water bottle with a chewable straw
• sound machine
• slime or silly putty
• Rescue Remedy
• fidgets
• I Spy wand
• kaleidoscope
• favourite book or a book about feelings
• affirmations colouring book and crayons
• liquid motion bubble timer
• squishies
• small framed photo of their family or beloved pet
• mini Etch-a-Sketch
• palm massager
• harmonica
• smell bottles
• textured sensory balls
• pinwheel
• sensory bag

Lego Sensory Chew NecklaceNoise Cancelling HeadphonesConair Sound Therapy Sound MachineKids Rescue Remedy Natural Stress Relief DropsCrazy Aaron’s Thinking PuttyRetro Voyage Map KaleidoscopeWonder TubesLiquid Motion Bubble TimersPalm Massager

For younger kids, it is sometimes best to use pictures on the calm down prompt cards even if the child can read. If they are in a state of fight, flight, or freeze, reading will be difficult for them. The easier you make it, the better.

What to Include in a Calm Down Kit for Older Kids:

• anything from the list above
• calm down cards
• hard candies to suck on
• favourite book
• chewing gum
• puzzle
• Rubik’s cube
• bubble wrap (for popping)
• Big Life Journal
• colouring book and markers or pencil crayons
• weighted lap pad
• instant camera (for taking “selfies” to better understand their emotions)
• yoga pose cards
• journal and pen
• knitting or crocheting (for kids who know how to knit or crochet)

Big Life JournalBuy NowLava LampSensory Weighted Lap PadRescue Remedy Rescue Chewing GumBach Rescue Remedy Hard CandyKids Yoga Challenge Pose CardsInstant Camera

If possible, provide a quiet area in the home or classroom that the child can go to use their calm down kit. This could be a corner with a bean bag chair or exercise ball to sit on. One thing to keep in mind when making an anti-anxiety kit for your child is to personalize it. One way to do this is to consider their sensory preferences (ie: a child who is sensory avoidant for auditory would prefer noise cancelling headphones in their kits whereas a child who is sensory seeking for auditory would prefer an audiobook or harmonica in theirs).

Another way to personalize the kit is to consider what interests your child has and include those. If your child loves dinosaurs, you could include this dinosaur chew necklace, this dinosaur squeeze ball, this dinosaur sensory slap bracelet, and this dinosaur fidget.

Creating a personalized kit for each child is also a great way for them to feel known and special. You can choose any theme that suits them.

Get printable calm down cards to include in your kit.

Read about how we use our calm down kit and other tips here:

Create Your Own Calm Down Kit for Children

If you’re a parent or teacher who has experienced a sensory meltdown, you know that there is no fun to be had there. It’s upsetting for the child, for the adult present, and awkward and uncomfortable for anyone within a one mile radius! While I have my own tried and true strategies for helping my kids through these, I know that one size does not fit all, so I wanted to gather sensory meltdown tips from other moms who’ve been there.

I know that their words are going to help you. Not only will you gather more tools for yourself by learning what works for them, you will be able to know without a doubt that you are not alone. I know that you will hear yourself in some of what they say.

If you’re new to the term “sensory meltdown”, I encourage you to take a few minutes and read about the difference between a tantrum and a sensory meltdown. You can also read about meltdown prevention and strategies that really help. (just click that link above or the photo below)

Sensory Meltdown Tips from Moms Who’ve Been There:

“Stay calm yourself, as hard as that may be.” ~ Dyan from And Next Comes L

“Stop talking! As parents it’s our instinct to comfort our child and say “it’s okay” or ask what they need, but every word you say during a meltdown is just more sensory input your child’s brain needs to decode.” ~ Kaylene from Autistic Mama

“If you can start documenting the meltdowns, do it. Even something as simple as a journal to mark down things like possible triggers, time of day, location, etc. The more you can keep track, the better. Then you might be able to determine possible causes and figure out the most appropriate solutions.” ~ Kori from Kori at Home Note about the planner here

“We try to leave the situation and I hold him tightly in a hug (if he will let me). I’ve learned that getting mad or raising my voice never helps. So I try to talk calmly and use words like “I understand you feel overwhelmed…” ” ~ Angela from Teaching Mama

“Counteract negative sensory input with positive sensory input. By doing so it’s easier to bring the child back to the present and move forward. We do this by making sure we have sensory kits ready at home or on the go. Once the child is calm and brought back to the present moment we can communicate feelings appropriately and come up with a solution together to solve the initial sensory issue.” ~ Renae from Every Star is Different

“Doctor recommended lollipops for grocery store trips. Taste, smell and texture helped my boys stay calm long enough to do quick shopping. Oldest son is autistic and seemingly constantly was in a state of meltdown. I was a single mom. Kids went everywhere with me. Lollipops helped.” ~ Samantha M.

More Sensory Meltdown Tips by Moms with Experience:

“We always have a box of sensory stuff in our car as well as I have a big purse that I throw a few things in for any outing. Her ear muffs, chewy necklace, snack( usually a cracker of some sort) and a spill proof water bottle. She does horrible in crowds and will chew her fingers raw if we don’t have her chewy necklace and with the ear muffs we have cut our meltdowns in half because she isn’t overwhelmed by the noises but still can hear somewhat.” ~ Ari C.

“I always have earplugs in my bag for unexpected noise. We have invested in a swing ( daughter is 12 and swing takes up to 30stone in weight so will last) Swinging helps a lot and is calming so we get her on the swing. A rocking chair I picked up from the charity shop is good too.” ~ Samantha T.

“My son loves the brushing and joint compressions still at 14. He gets so relaxed and calm. If we venture out to eat, and it gets to be overwhelming, I can do his joints in his fingers and he loves it.” ~ Jill L.

“During meltdowns, we rock together and I will also tap on his head. Learned that one from a chiropractor.” ~ Michelle W.

“It’s absolutely about prevention. Once a child is in a meltdown, their brains cannot think things through as they normally would. Recognize, avoid, accommodate.” ~ Amanda W.

You can also read helpful tips on how to stop sensory overload from turning into a sensory meltdown, as I know that is a common issue for parents.

Being able to recognize the signs of sensory overload can help you to take action before it turns into a full blown sensory meltdown. My friend Heather and I created a free cheatsheet to help you see the signs. Read more about the signs of sensory overload here or get your own copy of the cheatsheet to print off and keep as a reminder here. 

With words like “vestibular”, “proprioception”, and “interoception”, sensory processing can be difficult to understand even for adults. It can be difficult to introduce the concepts to kids. Books are a great way to begin the conversation. These must have sensory processing books for kids include titles not only for kids with sensory challenges, but for their siblings and classmates as well.

By involving the siblings and classmates of kids with Sensory Processing Disorder in the learning, they will they be better able to understand and support the child with SPD. Feeling understood goes a long way.

Kids need to develop an understanding of sensory processing. They also need to learn to recognize their own sensory signals. For a child with Sensory Processing Disorder, this is even more important. Books are a wonderful tool for parents and teachers to use.

 

Must Have Sensory Processing Books for Kids:

My Sensory Self Workbook for Kids: Helps Kids Learn the 8 Sensory Systems and Discover Their Unique Sensory PreferencesBuy NowWhy Does Izzy Cover Her Ears? Dealing with Sensory OverloadEllie Bean the Drama QueenArnie and His School Tools: Simple Sensory Solutions That Build SuccessSquirmy Wormy: How I Learned to Help MyselfSensitive Sam: Sam’s Sensory Adventure Has a Happy Ending!Max and Me: A Story About Sensory ProcessingPickysaurus MacDon’t Rush Me: For Siblings of Children with Sensory Processing Disorder

There are a few on this list that I would like to go into a bit more detail about.

My Sensory Self Workbook for Kids was born out of a wish. With five of my kids having Sensory Processing Disorder, I had always wished that a resource existed that would have helped me teach them about sensory processing. I wanted something that not only taught them the terminology in a fun way, but also helped them discover their own sensory preferences.

I teamed up with my friend Heather who is an OTA so that we could pair her professional experience with my real world experience. We created the workbook especially for kids. Even kids who don’t have SPD have sensory preferences (as we all do). This workbook is a great teaching tool. Help take the mystery out of sensory processing.

Squirmy Wormy has some sensory strategies interspersed throughout the story, which I quite like.

Arnie and His School Tools is a good book for teachers to read to the classroom. The story explains why some kids may need to use sensory tools in the school. It can also help kids with SPD feel less self-conscious about the tools they use.

Don’t Rush Me! is specifically written for siblings of kids with SPD. This is a much needed area to be addressed. Siblings are affected and may not have the vocabulary to ask questions or express their feelings about it. This book can be a starting point for that.

Pickysaurus Mac is a cute story for kids who are picky eaters due to sensory issues.

Sensory Processing Books for Older Kids:

The Superkids Activity Guide: Awesome Games and Crafts to Master Your Moods, Boost Focus, Hack Mealtimes and Help Grownups Understand Why You Do the Things You DoThe Goodenoughs Get in Sync: 5 Family Members Overcome their Special Sensory IssuesLearn to Have Fun with Your Senses: The Sensory Avoider’s Survival GuideWhen My Worries Get Too Big!: A Relaxation Book for Children Who Live with AnxietyThis is Gabriel: Making Sense of School: A Book about Sensory Processing DisorderI’m Not Weird, I Have Sensory Processing Disorder: Alexandra’s Journey

While the cute picture books are great for preschoolers and early elementary, older kids with sensory issues need this information too. Thankfully, some books have come out geared towards an older audience.

Many kids with SPD also struggle with anxiety and When My Worries Get Too Big has long been a favourite of mine to address that. The anxiety is often related to their sensory issues. This book is a great way to begin discussions and help them work through some of what they are dealing with.

The Superkids Activity Guide to Conquering Everyday is a really distinct resource in that it empowers kids while also giving parents a better understanding. And it helps kids celebrate their uniqueness instead of hiding from it.

Our Favourite Sensory Processing Books for Parents:

If you’re a parent who is just starting out on this sensory journey, thankfully, you do not need to go it alone. There are some wonderful resources designed to help you along the way. I highly recommend you start with these:

Sensory Processing Explained: A Handbook for Parents and EducatorsBuy NowThe Sensory Lifestyle Handbook by Colleen BeckBuy NowThe Out-of-Sync Child: Recognizing and Coping with Sensory Processing Disorder

You can read more about these books for parents here.

Looking for other ways to help your child with their sensory differences? Join me for a free 5 part email series Sensory Solutions and Activities and get your Sensory System Behaviours Easy Reference Cards.

One of the questions I commonly get from other parents is “how do I stop sensory overload from turning into a sensory meltdown?”

You know the old Benjamin Franklin quote “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure”? Well, good old Ben knew what he was talking about!

When it comes to sensory overload, prevention is key. Getting ahead of it or preventing it from building up in the first place is so much easier than trying to play catch up when the scales have already been tipped into overload.

Have you ever been fine and then suddenly felt like everything was just too much? There’s too much talking, too much noise, the music is too loud.

Even I have felt sensory overload on occasion. When we go on road trips with the kids (that’s two adults and a lot of children in a cramped space!), I sometimes hit a point where it’s all just too much. The sensory stimuli builds up (smells, sounds, sights, touch, vestibular input from the movement of the vehicle, proprioceptive input from the seatbelt, interoceptive input at being hungry or tired) until I can’t take one more minute of it.

Usually, if we pull over somewhere and I step outside for a few minutes and eat something so that I’m not hungry anymore, I can regulate myself again. Maybe you can relate.

It’s not uncommon for people to experience sensory overload even if they don’t have normally sensory issues.

Being overtired, stressed, or even hungry can make you more susceptible for sensory overload. These factors are especially important to consider when it comes to kids.

Those with autism, anxiety, PTSD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) are more prone to experiencing sensory overload. Sensory overload can also occur during migraines.

Once it begins, those suffering from it feel as though their senses are heightened. They are hyperaware of every sound, sight, smell, touch, and feeling. Sensory overload can often look like a panic attack. It is even more unpleasant for the person experiencing it as it is for those around them.

Stop sensory overload before it starts:

• Choose neutral or calming paint colours.
• Avoid patterned wallpaper or busy carpets.
• Keep your home or classroom decor simple and minimalistic.
• Lower the noise level.
• Consider background noise such as overhead ceiling fans, outside noise coming in through an open window, and humming fluorescent lights.
• Avoid scented candles, perfumes, air fresheners, and reduce cooking smells when possible.
• Use a dimmer switch to lower lighting or close blinds.
• Have the child (or adult) wear sunglasses in bright sunlight.
• Use noise cancelling headphones in places where sound can’t be reduced.
• Plan days so that only one busy event is happening on a single day and book days of rest in between.
• Avoid places with crowds and a lot of sensory stimuli.
• Plan ahead somewhere (a room or vehicle – depending on their age) the child can go to if they begin to feel overwhelmed. You can also use a designated signal word that they can use to indicate to you that they need to leave.
• Provide regular sensory breaks throughout the day.
• If you are in an environment with a lot of stimuli, have the person take regular breaks to do deep breathing or “get some air”.
• Maintain a regular routine, particularly for bedtimes and mealtimes.
• Provide regular snacks and plenty of water.

Recognize the Signs of Sensory Processing Overload:

Being able to recognize the signs of sensory overload can help you to take action before it turns into a full blown sensory meltdown. My friend Heather and I created a free cheatsheet to help you see the signs. You can read more about the signs of sensory overload here or get your own copy of the cheatsheet to print off and keep as a reminder here. 

Stop sensory overload from leading to a meltdown:

1. Even when you’ve done what you can to prevent sensory overload, it can still happen. Catch it early. This is key.
2. As soon as you recognize signs of sensory overload, remove the child or person from the situation. Avoid touching them as this will only heighten their overload. If it’s a small child and you need to carry them or lead them by the hand, give them a verbal warning in a soft, calm voice beforehand.
3. Don’t ask open ended questions. Keep things very quiet. Allow them to put a hoodie or blanket over their eyes if they wish. Provide noise cancelling headphones if you have them.
4. Give them space and time.
5. If you need to drive home, it is sometimes best to have a quiet time in the vehicle first as the motion of the drive will give vestibular input and could cause motion sickness once they are already experiencing sensory overload. (We’ve learned that one the hard way!)
6. Coach your child through some calm down breathing.
7. Wordlessly offer a comfort object such as a special blanket or stuffed animal if they want it.

When sensory overload leads to a sensory meltdown:

If you are unable to prevent sensory overload from turning into a sensory meltdown, remain calm. The tips here: How to Respond to a Sensory Meltdown will provide you with the tools you need to be able to help your child to regain control.

You likely won’t be able to prevent every sensory meltdown, but you will be able to curb most of them once you learn to recognize the things that create sensory overload for your child. You’ll have to play detective for awhile, looking for what seems to be most difficult for them. In time, you will recognize their sensory triggers and be able to stop meltdowns before they start.

Some other articles you may find helpful:

Sensory MeltdownsCalming Your Child’s Fight, Flight, or Freeze Response