Special Needs Parenting

A few months ago, we had to take our son’s phone away in the morning. Not a great start to the day…

We are really strict around here when it comes to technology because we know the related dangers. One of our jobs as parents is to protect our kids. He had made some bad choices that he knew would result in getting the phone taken away for a time, but he was pretty angry at getting caught.

The morning turned ugly quickly. We got to hear all about how other people’s parents don’t have such “stupid rules”. There were even some manipulation tactics pulled out designed to distract from the real issue, but we held firm.

Fast forward to the evening and me picking this particular son up from his sports practise…

He was still seething. He gave me a combination of the silent treatment and if-looks-could-kill-glares on the drive home. Once home, things did not improve.

He slung harsh words, stomped around, snapped at siblings. I gave him a wide berth as I was afraid that an explosion of emotion could happen at any moment.

The rest of us had already eaten, so he ate his supper at the counter in the kitchen. There just happened to be something right next to his plate on the counter. I wish I could take credit and say that I planned ahead and placed it there for just this purpose, but I didn’t.

Here’s where the magic comes in. I stood there and watched in amazement as his anger just melted away and he became my sweet boy again.

What was this magic anger cure?

Sensory play! It seems ridiculously simple, but it works. It can work for your child too. (read more on the importance of sensory play)

You see, a few days before, I had made three colours of cloud dough and they were sitting in a bin on the counter next to this boy who was ruminating in his anger. As he sat there, he mindlessly started touching the dough, then began squeezing it tightly to make shapes with it.

He didn’t know what he needed, but once he began to get that need met, his brain craved more.

He sat there for more than an hour and a half! His breathing slowed, his face became softer, and after awhile, he began to talk a bit about the texture of the dough.

I took the opportunity to ask him if he’d like to try an even silkier feeling dough and I pulled out two ingredients to make a different cloud dough (flour and baby oil). I mixed it right there in front of him and asked him if he wanted to give it a try.

He smiled at me. (THIS IS HUGE. He had professed his hatred of me just hours earlier and now was offering me a genuine smile.)

He came over and tried out the new dough. We talked about the smell of baby oil and why it felt different than the other dough. We laughed about other things.

My husband got home in the middle of this and was surprised to find us in the kitchen playing, our son’s face and demeanour calm.

It’s funny because even though we have both seen the magic of sensory play before, it never stops being surprising just how effective it can be.

Those of you with teen boys know that it isn’t going to work to say “hey, come play in a sensory bin”. Teen girls you can usually entice with slime (because it’s “cool”). And some boys enjoy slime too.

But there are some ways that you can entice your older kids and teens to engage in sensory play.

The most effective method I’ve found is something I call “sensory strewing“.

I’ve found that the benefits of sensory play only seem to expand with my kids as they get older, so I just place sensory play opportunities around them.

Like the Fall sensory bag that I “happened” to have left on one of the couches that this same son ended up playing with this morning before school.

I also leave things out like playdough stations or sensory bins on a regular basis. I’ve had other moms watch in astonishment as their normally “crusty” teen sits with their hands in a bin of water beads or mindlessly kneading playdough and talking up a storm. It’s transformative.

Other suggestions:

• asking the kids to help me test out a new playdough or slime recipe “for the blog”
• asking my older kids to teach younger kids who are here visiting how to use a sensory bin
• get them to help me bake things that require kneading or mixing by hand

I hope in sharing this story with you, you’ll be encouraged to use sensory play to help a child in your life calm or regulate themselves. It has worked wonders in our house!

Get a free sample of our Sensory Play Recipes eBook when you sign up for our Sensory Solutions and Activities email series. These recipes will help you create sensory play opportunities for your child, even if they are a tween or teen.

You may also find these resources helpful:

The Mega List of Sensory Bin Fillers and Tools The After School Meltdown Strategy that really works Sensory Meltdowns: What They Are and What To Do 

Strewing is a concept I first became familiar with as a homeschooler. It made so much sense to me. It took me years though to transfer that same concept over into something I call sensory strewing. 

What is Strewing?

Strewing just means to scatter things about. When it comes to homeschooling, strewing is an intentional scattering of educational materials or making things available for kids to learn and be creative on their own.

Many parents do strewing without even realizing that they are doing it. Leaving a book on the coffee table in the hopes that it will catch your child’s eye or using toy bins that tip down so that kids can see what’s inside are forms of “unintentional strewing”.

Parents who purposefully do strewing do so with the intention of allowing their kids to discover things on their own that will enhance their learning and creativity.

What is Sensory Strewing?

Full disclosure, I may have made up the term. Although, perhaps others have used it before me. I took the idea of strewing for a child’s learning and transferred that to a child’s sensory needs.

When it comes to sensory, kids know what feels good to them. They know what is uncomfortable for them as well. That is what makes sensory strewing such a wonderful idea.

It allows kids to explore their own sensory preferences and meet their own sensory needs. It offers opportunities to also discover new sensory preferences or go out of their “sensory comfort zone” by trying new things.

Sensory strewing works best if your child is already familiar with sensory play and with the sensory systems. This resource is a great way to help them learn the 8 sensory systems.

Important note: When sensory strewing, you want to consider sensory avoiders as well as sensory seekers. While it may be easier to find things for sensory seekers, leave out items such as noise cancelling headphones for avoiders.

Of course another purpose of sensory strewing is to offer a non-threatening way to help sensory avoiders venture into trying new sensory elements.

How we do Sensory Strewing in our Home:

I strategically place sensory play opportunities or sensory tools in areas I know my kids will be. I place sensory doughs or sensory bins on the counter where they sit to eat their breakfast. As they take bites of their cereal or toast, their hands find their way into the bin and they begin playing.

I place weighted sensory bottles, weighted stuffed animals, and weighted lap pads intentionally near where I know my kids sit to read. This weighted snake hung over the back of the computer chair may end up on their shoulders or on their lap.

I leave out baking supplies in plain view knowing that my girls love to bake, which will lead them to rolling and kneading and mixing.

We have a variety of musical instruments, both purchased and homemade within eyesight.

I rotate the sensory bins, sensory bottles, and sensory bags to that they are always discovering new ones. Sometimes I introduce a new one to them, but usually, I just leave it in the open for them to find.

In the higher traffic areas of our house such as the playroom, kitchen, dining room, and living room, I leave out sensory rich toys, games, art supplies, fidgets, and opportunities for sensory play. I leave them on the coffee table, the bookshelves, the kitchen table, counter, and windowsill.

I also take this concept outside. Our yard is filled with opportunities for sensory input. We have a climbing wall, sandbox, trampoline, merry-go-round (amazing for vestibular input!), ropes course in the trees, and of course, the trees themselves for climbing. Seasonal items such as shovels, snow forms, bubbles, sidewalk paint, and parachutes get strategically placed as well.

Instead of having all the books (including the sensory rich ones) on the bookshelf, I rotate a few on top of the bookshelf along with a fidget or palm massager. You don’t want to create clutter with your strewing. In fact, if there is too much clutter in the house, your kids won’t notice the items you have intentionally left out for sensory purposes.

Sensory Strewing is About Discovery:

Strewing is all about creating opportunity. It is not your responsibility to have your child take advantage of every single opportunity you’ve laid out. Part of this process lets you discover what sensory activities and tools most appeal to your child. That’s the beauty of it.

If you get involved and “remind” your child about something you’ve set out or point things out to them, it defeats the purpose.

There are times for guiding your child through sensory play, but strewing is not about that. Sensory strewing about the thrill of the discovery. It’s about letting your child take the lead and delighting in their finds. In this, you are the observer.

Sensory Strewing Ideas:

Kitchen

Leave out snacks that are crunchy, straws, and chewing gum. These are all excellent for gustatory input as well as for proprioception. Sucking through a straw can also be calming.

Playdough Stations

Outdoor Sensory Strewing Ideas

6-ft Play Tunnel for KidsCaterpillar Play Tunnel and TentKids Play Parachute 12ftMonkey Bars Climbing TowerWater TableSand TableDouble HammockTrampoline with NetGazillion BubblesSunny Patch Blossom Bright SprinklerPenguin Snow ToySnowball Maker

Touch and Feel Books

See, Touch, Feel: A First Sensory BookWhat I Like About Me!TailsI Dare You!Noisy Farm (Touch and Feel Sound Book)Noisy Dinosaurs (Touch and Feel Sound Book)Pat the Bunny (Touch and Feel Book)Never Touch a DragonThat’s Not My Unicorn…That’s Not My Truck…Woodland Sounds

Weighted items

Weighted Lizard 2kgWeighted sensory lap padWeighted Stuffed GiraffeWeighted Stuffed CowCheetah Neck Wrap and Weighted Lap PadWeighted Snake, 1kg

Sensory Bags

Sensory Bottles

Sensory Bins

Musical Instruments

Egg ShakersHarmonicaMini Plastic TambourineMaracasKids Percussion Floor Tom DrumWooden Toy Ukulele

Fidgets and Chewelry

TANGLE FidgetsClick Fidget ToysMesh Squishy BallRainbow Ball FidgetMagnety Magic FidgetPull and Stretch Bounce BallFidget CubeMarble Fidget ToysSpiky Sensory BallsPuffer BallsSensory Chewelry NecklaceChewelry NecklaceChewable Coil BraceletChewy TubesOwl Chewelry NecklaceSensory Chew Pencil ToppersBubble Motion Timer

Get some sensory play ideas to add to your strewing by singing up for our Sensory Solutions and Activities email series. You’ll also get a free sample of our Sensory Play Recipes eBook.

Do some of your child’s behaviours or reactions ever leave you scratching your head? Maybe you’ve noticed that their responses don’t seem typical for a child of their age or development. Your child may have sensory issues.

I still remember how helpless I felt watching our oldest daughter struggle when she was younger. Gracelyn came to us when she was just three days old, weighing 4 pounds and 14 ounces. It was love at first sight!

As she grew a bit older, some of her behaviours baffled us. She would spin around and around and around and never seemed to get dizzy. She would strip off her clothes in winter to put on a bathing suit just as we were about to walk out to door to get groceries. When we finally did get out the door to go shopping, she would reach out and touch everything on the shelves and even sometimes touch people as we walked past.

Gracelyn had a freakishly high pain tolerance and it would sometimes lead to injury as she also seemed to have no concept of danger. She broke things by accident because she wasn’t aware of her own strength.

One of the many things she broke was the necklace I had worn at my wedding. I knew it was just a “thing”, but I cried nonetheless.

She would have meltdowns for what seemed to be no reason. She pulled down all the decorations in her room and started to pick holes in her walls. This girl was the pickiest eater I had ever met. To this day, the only fruit she has ever eaten is a banana. She didn’t seem to have any attention span and would flit from one activity to another, leaving a huge mess behind her everywhere she went.

She preferred to be upside down to being right side up. And upside down is how I was starting to feel my life was while I tried to figure out how to parent her!

Does my child have sensory issues?

If you’re a parent or caregiver who’s wondering if sensory might be the answer to some of the challenging behaviours you are experiencing with your child, I’ve put together a list that may help end the mystery or at least get you on the right path to uncovering answers for your child.

Note that some of the items on the list seem to contradict each other. That’s because in each of the sensory systems, your child can be hypersensitive or hyposensitive, meaning that they can be sensory seeking or sensory avoiding.

To make things even more confusing, a child can be sensory seeking in one sensory system and sensory avoiding in another!

Signs Your Child has Sensory Issues:

Does your child…

• Chew on their sleeves or pencils
• Complain of tags or seams in clothing or socks
• Seem hungry all the time or never seem hungry
• Have a hard time falling asleep
• Cover their ears to block out noise
• Spin in circles and never get dizzy
• Bounce off the walls
• Hide under desks or tables
• Have frequent meltdowns over seemingly small things
• Seem overly picky or have sensitivity to food textures or tastes
• Want to wear gymnastic suits or bathing suits rather than clothes
• Get distracted by background noise
• Complain of headaches
• Avoid getting their hands or face messy
• Need to touch everything
• Seem to not understand their own strength
• Avoid hugs or hug too hard
• Have difficulty concentrating
• Cry about lights or sun being too bright
• Fidget
• Tire easily
• Complain often of being too hot or too cold
• Avoid grooming
• Have a super high or super low pain tolerance
• Gag easily
• Avoid or seek out certain smells or textures
• Have poor body awareness
• Seem clumsy
• Accidentally break things
• Take their shoes and socks off at every chance
• Hang upside down
• Fear climbing or spinning
• Constantly move
• Prone to motion sickness or becomes dizzy easily
• Wet the bed
• Rage
• Speak loudly (does not seem to have volume control)?

If you found yourself nodding at some of the items on this list, your child may be struggling with sensory issues or challenges. They may even have Sensory Processing Disorder. Speak to your child’s doctor or seek out the advice of an Occupational Therapist to help confirm this.

In the meantime, arm yourself with knowledge and strategies to help your child.

Can a child have sensory issues and not be autistic?

It is common for children on the autism spectrum to have sensory issues or SPD (sensory processing disorder). However, not all children with SPD have autism. In fact, many children with sensory issues do not have autism.

SPD is often a secondary diagnosis to autism, ADHD, RAD, and FASD. It is also found in children without any other diagnosis.

How can I help my child with sensory issues?

The most important step is to increase your knowledge about sensory. This will allow you to not only have the tools and skills to be able to help your child, but give you a deeper understanding of why their responses are the way they are.

Join me for a free 5 part email series Sensory Solutions and Activities. This will give you a solid foundation in sensory basics along with helpful tips and you’ll get the Sensory System Behaviours Easy Reference Cards.

Learn what you can. Here are some of the best books on sensory processing for parents.

Read 10 things you can do to make every day easier for sensory kiddos.

Teach your child about sensory processing so that they have the language to better explain themselves. This will also help them understand their sensory signals and preferences.

Learn to recognize the signs of sensory overload in your child. You’ll find this very helpful. This can also help you prevent sensory meltdowns.

This will start you on the path towards better understanding of your child’s sensory issues. You will gain the tools you need to be able to help them. Life for them and for you will start getting easier.

It can be overwhelming in the beginning, but trust me, it gets better. Our daughter (and 4 of our other kids who also turned out to have SPD) are all doing amazing now. There is so much hope.

When our daughter was a preschooler, I had never heard of sensory processing disorder. In fact, even the term “sensory processing” was foreign to me. This was the early days of the internet. But after watching our precious girl struggle every day, I was on the hunt for answers. I was able to get my hands on a few books on sensory processing for parents.

I devoured everything I could get my hands on. Unfortunately, a lot of the books I could find at that time were geared towards Occupational Therapists and other professionals. Sometimes, I felt like I needed a dictionary beside me to understand what I was reading.

But one of those books had a checklist in it. That checklist was like hitting gold! Going through it made it abundantly clear that sensory processing issues were at the root of many of our daughter’s struggles.

That was the day that I called and got a referral for our daughter to start seeing an Occupational Therapist. During the next few months, the OT came into our home weekly and taught me so much. I was able to adapt her environment and learn new ways of approaching things to better meet her needs.

Our daughter was diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder. With that diagnosis came a new understanding for all of us.

Over time, I learned how to meet her sensory needs and slowly, her challenging behaviours stopped. She became happier, calmer, and more in control of her body and her emotions. I was sold!

I wanted to do everything I could to help her. So I read more, attended seminars, asked questions. It’s a good thing that I did, because that knowledge would come in handy. Over the course of the next ten years, four more of our kids would also be diagnosed with sensory processing disorder.

Of course in most families, five kids with sensory issues would be unusual, but as SPD is often a secondary diagnosis to other things and we had adopted children with special needs, it turns out not to be that unusual in our case.

Sensory Processing Explained:

Years after making these discoveries with our daughter, I thought back on those early days. So many of the books I had read had used language I wasn’t familiar with. It was difficult to understand what I was reading and I had no idea how to apply what I was learning to our everyday life.

It was that experience that led me to begin writing about sensory issues here. That led to receiving dozens of emails from parents expressing their gratitude that I put things in a way that was easy for them to understand and actually use with their kids.

So last year, I teamed up with my good friend Heather who is an OTA. We dreamed of writing a book that was easy for parents and teachers to understand and that would make a difference in the lives of kids. We paired her OT knowledge with my experience of parenting kids with sensory needs and created a book that I’m so proud of.

Sensory Processing Explained walks readers through sensory processing. It begins with the 8 sensory systems and details some of the basics. Once that foundation is established, it goes into practical tips and tools for everyday life scenarios. We took the struggles that our readers were telling us about and gave them solutions.

The book also includes a section for parents and another for educators with tips for both. There are also applicable printable resources.

Heather and I wanted to help kids by helping their teachers and parents better understand them and therefore better be able to meet their needs.

The Best Sensory Processing Books for Parents:

If you have a child that you suspect may have Sensory Processing Disorder, the first step I suggest you take is to speak to their Paediatrician or a qualified Occupational Therapist to have an assessment ordered. The second step is to get your hands on some good books on sensory processing.

When a parent or caregiver can understand sensory processing, they can better recognize their child’s sensory triggers. They can also learn to make accommodations to their home and lifestyle to better meet their child’s needs.

I highly recommend that you start with these books:

Sensory Processing Explained: A Handbook for Parents and EducatorsBuy NowThe Sensory Lifestyle Handbook by Colleen BeckBuy NowThe Out-of-Sync Child: Recognizing and Coping with Sensory Processing Disorder

I will admit to being completely biased in recommending our book, Sensory Processing Explained, but I feel confident in suggesting it because of the incredible feedback we’ve received from parents, teachers, and therapists.

The Sensory Lifestyle Handbook is a deep dive into sensory diets. That term may not be familiar to you now, but the book will help you come up with a sensory diet strategy that fits your child.

The Out-of-Sync Child is an “oldie but a goodie”. This book helped me quite a bit way back when we were first starting out on our sensory journey (back in the day when SPD was still called Sensory Integration Disorder). The author is very well respected.

Once you’ve read these books, you should have a solid foundation of sensory processing and be well on your way towards better helping your child.

To learn more about sensory processing, join me for a free 5 part email series Sensory Solutions and Activities and get your Sensory System Behaviours Easy Reference Cards.

Being a child with sensory needs can make even the simplest things like combing your hair or getting dressed feel challenging. Sometimes making small adjustments can make the everyday struggles easier.As a parent, you can feel helpless as you watch your child struggle. Using the strategies below, you can make life easier for your child and cut back on sensory meltdowns and day-to-day battles.

Here are some tips that can help with those everyday battles:

1. Use a visual schedule. This allows the child to know exactly what to do and what’s coming next. It can ease the pain of transitions and lessen the chance of meltdowns. For some kids, they need the tasks broken up into smaller steps, so look for a visual schedule that breaks things down.
2. Give warnings for upcoming transitions and allow for extra time so that your child can adjust. Be sure to allot margins in your day to allow for this and to reduce stress on both you and your child.
3. Offer sensory breaks throughout the day. This gives your child the necessary sensory input. Sensory breaks also make good transition bridges.
4. Use a Sensory Triggers Log to help you identify your child’s sensory triggers. This will allow you to avoid them or make changes to your child’s environment to accommodate them.
5. Work on giving your child an emotional vocabulary so that they can express their feelings.
6. Teach your child calming breathing techniques.
7. Meet your child’s sensory needs during the day with sensory activities and heavy work opportunities. This will not only help them all day long, it will help them sleep better at night.
8. Don’t die on the clothing mountain. Let your child wear what’s comfortable to them. Be a sensory detective to discover why certain articles of clothing bother them. This will help you find solutions.
9. Have your child use a vibrating toothbrush. Not only will this add more sensory input to their day, it will decrease oral sensitivity and eventually lead to less battles over food.
10. Teach your child about sensory processing and the 8 sensory systems so that they can better identify their needs and voice them to you.

Bonus tip: Carry a pack of Post-It notes with you in your purse so that you can cover the automatic flush sensor on toilets in public bathrooms. No more surprise loud noise for your child to contend with!

I love this list so much because it has some actionable strategies that you can start using right away.