Special Needs Parenting

Do some of your child’s behaviours or reactions ever leave you scratching your head? Maybe you’ve noticed that their responses don’t seem typical for a child of their age or development. Your child may have sensory issues.

I still remember how helpless I felt watching our oldest daughter struggle when she was younger. Gracelyn came to us when she was just three days old, weighing 4 pounds and 14 ounces. It was love at first sight!

As she grew a bit older, some of her behaviours baffled us. She would spin around and around and around and never seemed to get dizzy. She would strip off her clothes in winter to put on a bathing suit just as we were about to walk out to door to get groceries. When we finally did get out the door to go shopping, she would reach out and touch everything on the shelves and even sometimes touch people as we walked past.

Gracelyn had a freakishly high pain tolerance and it would sometimes lead to injury as she also seemed to have no concept of danger. She broke things by accident because she wasn’t aware of her own strength.

One of the many things she broke was the necklace I had worn at my wedding. I knew it was just a “thing”, but I cried nonetheless.

She would have meltdowns for what seemed to be no reason. She pulled down all the decorations in her room and started to pick holes in her walls. This girl was the pickiest eater I had ever met. To this day, the only fruit she has ever eaten is a banana. She didn’t seem to have any attention span and would flit from one activity to another, leaving a huge mess behind her everywhere she went.

She preferred to be upside down to being right side up. And upside down is how I was starting to feel my life was while I tried to figure out how to parent her!

Does my child have sensory issues?

If you’re a parent or caregiver who’s wondering if sensory might be the answer to some of the challenging behaviours you are experiencing with your child, I’ve put together a list that may help end the mystery or at least get you on the right path to uncovering answers for your child.

Note that some of the items on the list seem to contradict each other. That’s because in each of the sensory systems, your child can be hypersensitive or hyposensitive, meaning that they can be sensory seeking or sensory avoiding.

To make things even more confusing, a child can be sensory seeking in one sensory system and sensory avoiding in another!

Signs Your Child has Sensory Issues:

Does your child…

• Chew on their sleeves or pencils
• Complain of tags or seams in clothing or socks
• Seem hungry all the time or never seem hungry
• Have a hard time falling asleep
• Cover their ears to block out noise
• Spin in circles and never get dizzy
• Bounce off the walls
• Hide under desks or tables
• Have frequent meltdowns over seemingly small things
• Seem overly picky or have sensitivity to food textures or tastes
• Want to wear gymnastic suits or bathing suits rather than clothes
• Get distracted by background noise
• Complain of headaches
• Avoid getting their hands or face messy
• Need to touch everything
• Seem to not understand their own strength
• Avoid hugs or hug too hard
• Have difficulty concentrating
• Cry about lights or sun being too bright
• Fidget
• Tire easily
• Complain often of being too hot or too cold
• Avoid grooming
• Have a super high or super low pain tolerance
• Gag easily
• Avoid or seek out certain smells or textures
• Have poor body awareness
• Seem clumsy
• Accidentally break things
• Take their shoes and socks off at every chance
• Hang upside down
• Fear climbing or spinning
• Constantly move
• Prone to motion sickness or becomes dizzy easily
• Wet the bed
• Rage
• Speak loudly (does not seem to have volume control)?

If you found yourself nodding at some of the items on this list, your child may be struggling with sensory issues or challenges. They may even have Sensory Processing Disorder. Speak to your child’s doctor or seek out the advice of an Occupational Therapist to help confirm this.

In the meantime, arm yourself with knowledge and strategies to help your child.

Can a child have sensory issues and not be autistic?

It is common for children on the autism spectrum to have sensory issues or SPD (sensory processing disorder). However, not all children with SPD have autism. In fact, many children with sensory issues do not have autism.

SPD is often a secondary diagnosis to autism, ADHD, RAD, and FASD. It is also found in children without any other diagnosis.

How can I help my child with sensory issues?

The most important step is to increase your knowledge about sensory. This will allow you to not only have the tools and skills to be able to help your child, but give you a deeper understanding of why their responses are the way they are.

Join me for a free 5 part email series Sensory Solutions and Activities. This will give you a solid foundation in sensory basics along with helpful tips and you’ll get the Sensory System Behaviours Easy Reference Cards.

Learn what you can. Here are some of the best books on sensory processing for parents.

Read 10 things you can do to make every day easier for sensory kiddos.

Teach your child about sensory processing so that they have the language to better explain themselves. This will also help them understand their sensory signals and preferences.

Learn to recognize the signs of sensory overload in your child. You’ll find this very helpful. This can also help you prevent sensory meltdowns.

This will start you on the path towards better understanding of your child’s sensory issues. You will gain the tools you need to be able to help them. Life for them and for you will start getting easier.

It can be overwhelming in the beginning, but trust me, it gets better. Our daughter (and 4 of our other kids who also turned out to have SPD) are all doing amazing now. There is so much hope.

When our daughter was a preschooler, I had never heard of sensory processing disorder. In fact, even the term “sensory processing” was foreign to me. This was the early days of the internet. But after watching our precious girl struggle every day, I was on the hunt for answers. I was able to get my hands on a few books on sensory processing for parents.

I devoured everything I could get my hands on. Unfortunately, a lot of the books I could find at that time were geared towards Occupational Therapists and other professionals. Sometimes, I felt like I needed a dictionary beside me to understand what I was reading.

But one of those books had a checklist in it. That checklist was like hitting gold! Going through it made it abundantly clear that sensory processing issues were at the root of many of our daughter’s struggles.

That was the day that I called and got a referral for our daughter to start seeing an Occupational Therapist. During the next few months, the OT came into our home weekly and taught me so much. I was able to adapt her environment and learn new ways of approaching things to better meet her needs.

Our daughter was diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder. With that diagnosis came a new understanding for all of us.

Over time, I learned how to meet her sensory needs and slowly, her challenging behaviours stopped. She became happier, calmer, and more in control of her body and her emotions. I was sold!

I wanted to do everything I could to help her. So I read more, attended seminars, asked questions. It’s a good thing that I did, because that knowledge would come in handy. Over the course of the next ten years, four more of our kids would also be diagnosed with sensory processing disorder.

Of course in most families, five kids with sensory issues would be unusual, but as SPD is often a secondary diagnosis to other things and we had adopted children with special needs, it turns out not to be that unusual in our case.

Sensory Processing Explained:

Years after making these discoveries with our daughter, I thought back on those early days. So many of the books I had read had used language I wasn’t familiar with. It was difficult to understand what I was reading and I had no idea how to apply what I was learning to our everyday life.

It was that experience that led me to begin writing about sensory issues here. That led to receiving dozens of emails from parents expressing their gratitude that I put things in a way that was easy for them to understand and actually use with their kids.

So last year, I teamed up with my good friend Heather who is an OTA. We dreamed of writing a book that was easy for parents and teachers to understand and that would make a difference in the lives of kids. We paired her OT knowledge with my experience of parenting kids with sensory needs and created a book that I’m so proud of.

Sensory Processing Explained walks readers through sensory processing. It begins with the 8 sensory systems and details some of the basics. Once that foundation is established, it goes into practical tips and tools for everyday life scenarios. We took the struggles that our readers were telling us about and gave them solutions.

The book also includes a section for parents and another for educators with tips for both. There are also applicable printable resources.

Heather and I wanted to help kids by helping their teachers and parents better understand them and therefore better be able to meet their needs.

The Best Sensory Processing Books for Parents:

If you have a child that you suspect may have Sensory Processing Disorder, the first step I suggest you take is to speak to their Paediatrician or a qualified Occupational Therapist to have an assessment ordered. The second step is to get your hands on some good books on sensory processing.

When a parent or caregiver can understand sensory processing, they can better recognize their child’s sensory triggers. They can also learn to make accommodations to their home and lifestyle to better meet their child’s needs.

I highly recommend that you start with these books:

Sensory Processing Explained: A Handbook for Parents and EducatorsBuy NowThe Sensory Lifestyle Handbook by Colleen BeckBuy NowThe Out-of-Sync Child: Recognizing and Coping with Sensory Processing Disorder

I will admit to being completely biased in recommending our book, Sensory Processing Explained, but I feel confident in suggesting it because of the incredible feedback we’ve received from parents, teachers, and therapists.

The Sensory Lifestyle Handbook is a deep dive into sensory diets. That term may not be familiar to you now, but the book will help you come up with a sensory diet strategy that fits your child.

The Out-of-Sync Child is an “oldie but a goodie”. This book helped me quite a bit way back when we were first starting out on our sensory journey (back in the day when SPD was still called Sensory Integration Disorder). The author is very well respected.

Once you’ve read these books, you should have a solid foundation of sensory processing and be well on your way towards better helping your child.

To learn more about sensory processing, join me for a free 5 part email series Sensory Solutions and Activities and get your Sensory System Behaviours Easy Reference Cards.

Being a child with sensory needs can make even the simplest things like combing your hair or getting dressed feel challenging. Sometimes making small adjustments can make the everyday struggles easier.As a parent, you can feel helpless as you watch your child struggle. Using the strategies below, you can make life easier for your child and cut back on sensory meltdowns and day-to-day battles.

Here are some tips that can help with those everyday battles:

1. Use a visual schedule. This allows the child to know exactly what to do and what’s coming next. It can ease the pain of transitions and lessen the chance of meltdowns. For some kids, they need the tasks broken up into smaller steps, so look for a visual schedule that breaks things down.
2. Give warnings for upcoming transitions and allow for extra time so that your child can adjust. Be sure to allot margins in your day to allow for this and to reduce stress on both you and your child.
3. Offer sensory breaks throughout the day. This gives your child the necessary sensory input. Sensory breaks also make good transition bridges.
4. Use a Sensory Triggers Log to help you identify your child’s sensory triggers. This will allow you to avoid them or make changes to your child’s environment to accommodate them.
5. Work on giving your child an emotional vocabulary so that they can express their feelings.
6. Teach your child calming breathing techniques.
7. Meet your child’s sensory needs during the day with sensory activities and heavy work opportunities. This will not only help them all day long, it will help them sleep better at night.
8. Don’t die on the clothing mountain. Let your child wear what’s comfortable to them. Be a sensory detective to discover why certain articles of clothing bother them. This will help you find solutions.
9. Have your child use a vibrating toothbrush. Not only will this add more sensory input to their day, it will decrease oral sensitivity and eventually lead to less battles over food.
10. Teach your child about sensory processing and the 8 sensory systems so that they can better identify their needs and voice them to you.

Bonus tip: Carry a pack of Post-It notes with you in your purse so that you can cover the automatic flush sensor on toilets in public bathrooms. No more surprise loud noise for your child to contend with!

I love this list so much because it has some actionable strategies that you can start using right away.

Does this sound familiar? You are trying to get your child out the door to school or for an appointment and they can’t seem to accomplish the smallest tasks. They are easily distracted and moving as slow as molasses. You give reminder after reminder, but they seem to go in one ear and out the other. It’s the same scene every morning. You are becoming more and more agitated until finally, you explode. You feel guilty as your child leaves for school once again feeling deflated.

Your child can’t move from one activity to another or one location to another without having a meltdown. You try to remember to give them a “five minute warning”, but sometimes there just isn’t time. Sometimes, even with the warning, they still don’t seem to be able to make the transition.

You find yourself once again dealing with a meltdown.

The teacher calls again. Your child came out of the bathroom at school with their pants down around their ankles. Again. At home, they always forget to flush the toilet or leave the water running after they wash their hands…when they remember to wash their hands at all. You know that your child is doing their best.

You wish you could help them gain more independence.

Why use visual schedules?

Visual schedules carry many benefits, particularly for children who have special needs. Visual schedules:

• break down tasks into easy-to-complete steps
• simplify
• provide structure
• create predictability
• teach independence
• improve focus and attention
• help with time management
• instill consistency
• form healthy habits
• reduce cognitive load
• maintain daily routines
• establish a schedule that works
• ease transitions
• prevent meltdowns
• promote positive choices
• decrease problem behaviours
• provide helpful reminders

Visual schedules are especially beneficial for children on the autism spectrum, children with FASD, ADHD, sensory issues or SPD, RAD, or other special needs. They can be an invaluable tool. Many parents report that they have been a “game changer” in their household.

I created the Printable Visual Schedule for Special Needs because I couldn’t find a visual schedule that included what I was looking for to use with my own kids. I wanted something that parents could use with visual and written prompts that kids could easily understand. It is in both colour and black and white. The black and white cards are great for having kids colour themselves. This gives them another reenforcement and reminder.

How to use visual schedules:

The best way to use visual schedules to benefit your child depends on your child and on what you are hoping to accomplish.

If your child is experiencing a lot of meltdowns during transition times, you will want to start with cards that help them predict upcoming changes throughout their day to help them predict what’s coming next.

If your child is struggling to get out the door in the morning, you’ll want to start with cementing a morning routine that works for them.

Or if your child is struggling most with breaking things down into smaller tasks, that will be where you want to start.

Create a morning routine chart.

You can do this in many ways. Choose which of the methods below you feel would work best for your child. You can always try multiple methods to find the best fit.

1. Place velcro dots on a poster board and hang the poster in their bedroom. Attach an open envelope to the bottom of the poster. Place velcro dots on the back of the visual schedule cards and place them on the poster in the order your child should complete their morning routine. As they complete the tasks, they can add the card into the envelope.
2. Hole punch the cards that your child needs to complete each morning. Place them on a binder ring and give it to your child as a visual reminder they can carry with them as they complete each step.
3. Affix magnets to the back of the cards. This works best if the cards are laminated. Set up an area on the side of the fridge or on a magnetic white board in the kitchen where your child can see their cues and move them down as they complete each one.
4. Give your child a folder or binder that contains the cards needed for their morning routine. These can be glued down on a page in the binder with the heading “Morning” or you can add velcro dots to the page and to the backs of the cards and glue an envelope to the inside of the binder for easy storage of the cards.
5. Hang a ribbon or string in your child’s room. Use clothespins to attach their visual prompts in the order they need to be completed. Provide a small bucket or envelope that your child can put the cards into once they’ve finished each one. 

Create a daily schedule.

1. Make a poster for your child that displays their daily schedule. See the method for making the poster above.
2. Create a visual representation of your child’s day on the side of the fridge using magnets on the back of the cards.
3. Make your child a binder separated into Morning, Afternoon and Evening to further simplify things.
4. Another way of creating a daily schedule is by using a pocket chart. You can add the cards needed for that day at the top of the chart in the order they will happen and store the rest of the cards either at the bottom or in a separate envelope that you can staple near the bottom of the pocket chart.

For some children, the chart can be very general, including only the highlights of the day, whereas for others, you will need to break down each thing into smaller tasks.

I don’t recommend using binder rings for an entire daily schedule as it can be too overwhelming for a child.

Break down tasks.

Some of the cards break tasks down for kids to enable them to complete them step by step. These cards work well in these ways:

1. Hole punch the cards and attach them to a binder ring. This way, the child can carry it with them. This is particularly good for the bathroom prompts. They can flip through the cards as they complete each step.
2. Use poster putty or teacher’s tape to attach cards to the bathroom wall or mirror for the bathroom cards and the step by step instructions for hand washing.
3. Attach the cards to the back of your child’s bedroom door or the wall in the entryway for reminders such as putting on their shoes and coat or taking their lunch. 

For school and appointments:

1. When I created this visual schedule, I purposely left some of the cards such as those for Speech, Occupational Therapist, Therapist, etc. without an image. This was so that the child or parents could add a picture of the building or actual therapist to the card. For some children, especially those with autism, it helps to have things as concrete and specific as possible. Seeing the actual building or person they have an appointment with helps create security and aids in the transition.
2. Children can use the pocket chart, binder, or binder ring method to use their visual schedule as their prompts while at school.

For a short time only, the Visual Schedule for Special Needs is included in the Sensory Essentials Collection which included many other resources for helping kids thrive.